Mama Renew

This month’s Mama Renewed is Bonnie Jarvis, mama to 3 lovely children (Faire, almost 7, Shea, 5, & Isla, 19 months), and co-founder of Doula Mamas.

About Bonnie

I consider myself “Mom” first and foremost, but also love my time with DoulaMamas as  a birth doula and teaching our Sibling Preparation Classes.  Mostly, though, I am Mama, taking my kids to and from school, baking, knitting, reading, and enjoying my little one who is growing too fast!

Why Mama Renew?

I worked as an Early Childhood Educator for years before having children of my own.  As the Big Sister in my family I took care of my siblings at a pretty young age.  I had spent so much of my life taking care of others – it was time to take a little care of myself!  I was looking for a supportive group of women to surround me while I explored my relationship with self-care.

New Insights

The very first session made such a difference by helping me think outside of “mama” and inside of “Bonnie”.  I had defined myself by what I was doing in terms of raising my children for so long.  The first chapter forced me to think about myself beyond that, reconnecting me to the person I was before I became a mother and inviting that woman back into my life.

Challenges

I think I will be working on the concept of “Good is Good Enough” for years to come!  Life with 3 young ones means things are going to have to be Good Enough at some point nearly every day. I think I have become pretty good at saying Good is Good Enough, but still have trouble accepting that it is indeed Good Enough.  I’d like to come to a place where I don’t have to qualify it with “enough” and simply embrace things as they are, “Good is Good.”

On Self-Care

I know right away when I am out of balance, usually when I’ve spent a little too long meeting every one else’s needs and not tending to my own.  Favourite self-care activities include a girls’ night out with friends, or a date with my husband.  I let our busyness push aside my belly dancing for 2 years – this fall, I simply wrote it back in the calendar, and it is staying there.  Tuesday night is my night to be a belly dancer, not a Mama!

I have such a wonderful support system:  my husband will happily give me all the time I need – the only thing I have to do is TELL HIM! I’m trying to be open and honest about what I need, but asking for help isn’t something that comes easy.

Next Steps

I’ve decided to stop letting my desires and interests become a lower priority.  Life is busy, and it is so easy to let the so-called “extras” slide, but I gain so much when I take  break and read or knit or blog while my little one naps and the dishes don’t get done.  I don’t want to feel guilty because I am taking time for myself.

My first reaction to our busy family life is usually one of a martyr – “oh fine, I’ll add this to my ever-growing list of things I need to do and guess i won’t have any time for myself this week.”  I dream of the day that it is second-nature to place my self-care on the top of the list. There are still too many evenings where I collapse at the end of the day and realized I haven’t had any downtime.  But it is coming, and for now, it’s Good!

click here to comment!