Mama Renew

An email we received this week left us somewhere between raucous laughter and deep sadness, and the wonderful mama who went it to us has given permission to share.

Moving and establishing new roots is a challenge for most of us.   Sometimes we are welcomed into new circles like old friends, and other times it can take years before the walls have been lowered and real friendships formed.

Here is the story of a mama who recently moved and decided to reach out after having a less than warm reception at local playgroups. She decided to post an ad in the local classifieds.  Intended to be listed under Childcare, the newspaper moved it to the Dating – Friendship section.

Here is the original ad:

Okay, I do feed my kids limited amounts of sugar, they watch copious amounts of t.v. and they get naked time.  Now that’s out of the way, I am a 30 something mom with 2 young children.  I’ve done the Mom’s groups and tried library time, but in all honesty I need a play date that doesn’t involve obsessing over parenting trends and over-analyzing my children’s development.

I am looking to get together with some grounded, down-to-earth parents who would like to chat with maybe a little less focus on child rearing.  My kids play well with others and provide me unlimited amounts of laughter and entertainment.  Now I want to mix in some adult laughter and fun.

That same day she received her first response:

Not sure if you are wanting a single guy with no kids or what kind of play date you’re looking for.         I am interested -  just curious.  I love playing, etc… sexual or nonsexual.  Thanx.

Not exactly what she had in mind!  Thankfully, in addition to a few responses similar to the above, she did receive some nice ones from other mothers:

1.  I liked your ad… I have a hard time finding somewhere my son and I can fit in and be ourselves.

2.  You made me laugh!  I`ve been here for close to a year and have tried the Mommy meetups, etc…  and they are not for me.  I have a 22 month old boy who likes to run wild and play… I`m not uptight or judgmental.

3.  I am the mother of 2 boys, 17 months and 3 years and I feel the same way as you about the Mommy groups.  I just need to get out of the house and find a friend who is not all about the colour of the poop.

These responses offer such a vivid picture of the need for groups that foster a deeper level of connection.  In Mama Renew friendships form with a depth that goes far beyond the colour of poop – women in our groups are often surprised to find that we almost never talk about our children.  We love witnessing groups of women who may have never met otherwise, some of whom have very different parenting styles, come together with absolutely heartfelt honesty and connection within the context of the journey of motherhood.

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What about you? What are you seeking in your friendships?

What kind of playdate are you looking for???!

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