Are you a Raccoon Mom? Part I.
The kids are asleep. The house is quiet. What to do?
The options are many. We could do the dishes, read a book, check emails and surf facebook, squeeze in a few extra hours of work. We could hop in the hot tub. Light a candle and enjoy our favourite music while we work on a craft project. We could have sex. Sleep is an option too…
Many of us feel that urge to stay up just a little bit later to enjoy every bit of quiet down time possible. After a busy day of parenting we crave the opportunity to focus on something uninterrupted.
In the Globe and Mail today there was an article exploring the “Dawn of the Raccoon Moms”, those of us who forgo sleep to “work, shop and instant-message in nocturnal peace and quiet.”
From a self-care perspective, we celebrate both the importance of sleep and the peace of a quiet home after the kids go to bed. We understand the limited number of hours in the day and the need to get just one more thing done. We know how seductive work, internet, television and a good book can be.
We can’t help but wonder, though, what happens after 2, 3, 4, 5 years of night time play. It seems to us that the real issue here is that moms aren’t getting the space and time they need during the daylight hours. In the desire to do it all, we’re grabbing hold of the only time we can find to ourselves.
Logically, we know the importance of sleep. We know it keeps us healthier and gives us energy. We Know we’re more patient with our children when we’re well rested. Still, however, the call of the night owl can keep us up far beyond the time when our bodies and minds are ready for a rest.
Now sometimes a deadline is looming and night-time work is essential. Or after a really hard day we just want to disappear into a good novel – and finish it that same night! And there’s no harm in allowing yourself one or two nights a week when the raccoon mama can come out to forage and feast til the wee morning hours. Maybe, just maybe, though, a sleeping mama bear might enjoy a chance as well.
This started out as a single blog entry, but the ideas are flowing so this will simply be part I on sleep. Watch for Parts II and III over the next week, exploring ways to savour those glorious evening hours, and how to create more precious daylight hours for ourselves.
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Are you a raccoon mom?
How do you fill your evenings? How do you feel the next day?
[...] been enjoying the comments and feedback we’ve received from our Raccoon Mama Part I blog entry. Seems as though more than a few of us find ourselves up until the wee [...]
I’m a raccoon mama. But doing this means I can self actualize, generate an income and be happier overall. Still, in the past few weeks, I’ve experimented with going to bed earlier and, gee, it does make a difference. Mixing it up may be the best solution.
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I have a yearning for hot tub time too! Maybe we can get a discount by buying them in bulk???
Oh, I am a racoon mama! This is my take: at night, it is all about ME. My kids are asleep and I know they will be until morning. When I take time during the day (not so common an occurance!) the fact that I have to go back and be a mama, cook, driver, cleaner, etc. in an hour or two is still on my mind. At night, I typically don’t have that hanging over me. I think that’s why I like it so much.
But I do think about pushing bedtime a little earlier so that I have some hours to myself, but also get a decent night’s sleep. Something to strive for!
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I agree that it’s time for Callie to get a hot tub.
I try to go to sleep at the same time as Oliver but often end up knitting by headlamp until I can fall asleep. If only I could convince myself to nap when he does — that’s when the computer games, facebook, and programming projects get the better of me!
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So much of it really seems to be about how much moms are trying to do these days. We don’t just care for the kids and run the house; we work and we want to have hobbies. I would guess that years ago the work involved in raising children and running the house took all of the daylight hours and then some. It just doesn’t seem sustainable to be burning the candle at both ends for a long time. I personally don’t parent well when I’m tired. Looking forward to parts 2 and 3.
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It’s like you were a fly on the wall in my house last night (or the night before, or the one before that…) Once in a while, it’s a good book that keeps my eyelids up, but more often than not, it’s the laptop! Time to get a hot tub, I guess!
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My husband and I used to be raccoon parents. With 2 young children and both of us working from home and no childcare we would often put the kids to bed and then set up at our side by side desks with our laptops and work til midnight every single night. Now on occasion this can actually be a really nice night.
But it wasn’t sustainable. So we got a hot tub. and sat in there each night after 10 p.m., side by side in a whole different way…
The more time we spent in the hot tub, the less time we spent at our lap tops. The less time we spent at our lap tops, the happier we were together. Gradually the night time laptop thing eased off to maybe 1-2 times per week – so much better for our relationship.
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It is a great topic and so apt as well. I’m with Annemarie – I think mums throughout the ages have always carved a little ‘me’ time out of daily life. Rather than computers contributing to the rise of the raccoon, I think widespread electricity probably fueled our nocturnal projects more.
As for me, crafting takes up more of my night time downtime tho’ a tricky computer problem is often best solved once the house is completely quiet
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Can’t wait to see where you go with this. Such a fascinating topic.
I was asked yesterday if I thought computers made the raccoon phenomena worse, but I’m thinking mums throughout time would have needed some downtime/space.
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