Mama Renew

This month’s Mama Renewed is Lynette Stockner, mother of Felix (3 1/2), and owner of Sage Yoga. We supported her through birth with our sister practice, Dancing Star Birth, new motherhood in Mothers Unfolding, and now Mama Renew as the mother of a growing boy.  Today we have the joy of seeing her support other new mothers in our community.

About Lynette

When I gave birth to Felix I found the transformation to motherhood to be one of the most important stages of self-reckoning of my life.  I began offering prenatal yoga out of my desire to share in the  journey and transformation of pregnancy and birth while helping women care for their bodies and  growing babies.

Why Mama Renew?

After loving Birthing from Within and Mother’s Unfolding, I knew that Mama Renew would once again be in sync with my needs.

If Mama Renew is a house, it opens up all the doors and windows to let the fresh air revive you – even in your attic and basement!  As a parent I can sweep myself into a neglected corner with all the distractions of daily life.  But not at Mama Renew!

New Insights

As a very independent woman I have really felt the changes of motherhood – embraced many and struggled with others. Sharing with the amazing women in Mama Renew was empowering and gave relevant perspective to my life.  I learned that compassion, patience and humour are my best allies (especially as I apply them to myself!).

There have been many changes as I learned to not judge myself (as much!) and to prioritize self-care: time in nature, gardening, reading. acupunture, yoga, and time quietly enjoyed over a decaf in a café . . . by myself.  I  make sure I leave the housework behind if the day has something more interesting to offer, and hire a babysitter once a month whether I need it or not for a full day.

I started knitting and then started a monthly series of craft nights with friends. I created a cookbook (that I keep lovingly refining), hired a financial advisor and have a weekly “date” with my husband where he cooks dinner for me after Felix goes to bed.  I really, really, REALLY notice the benefits!

While my interests are still deliciously diverse, the edge I now play is truer to my energy, core passions and commitments.

Challenges

I still have a hard time asking friends and family for childcare. I am so CAPABLE! (read: scared to put someone out!) I routinely ask for help for practical reasons but I still need to ask . . . just because! Recently however, I have hooked up with the most terrific mother’s helper in the world – my nine-year-old neighbor Sarah, who comes over to be with Felix while I take a few hours to work at home.

Moving Forward

Digging deep in Mama Renew has helped me to more fully take on life as a mother. I am conscious on a daily basis of the gifts that unfold in my life: to witness and enjoy, to question and create, to practice patience, and the art of responding instead of reacting. As a yogi these daily practices constantly resonate with my values.

So when my son asks me, “Are you still growing mama?”

I say, “Yes. Deeper and wiser every day.”

***************

click here to comment!

What have you always wanted to try?  Surfing was my thing.

I’d always wanted to know what it would be like to be out there, but many layers of assumptions prevented me from even daring to believe that I could actually do it. I was too out of shape, not that “type” of person, and the thought of finding a wetsuit that could fit my curves was profoundly intimidating.  Note, the image at left is Not me! But I like her, as though she were the woman inside of me who simply knows she can do this is.

Thanks to my personal journey with Mama Renew, enough of my fears had shifted to allow me to try a surfing lesson when we returned two years later.  While the wetsuit experience was still less than pleasant, I was able to ride wave after wave and couldn’t stop smiling.   Still, I felt inadequate as the only member of the group unable to manoeuvre myself to a standing position on the board.

One year later, and for the past 3 days I have been slipping on a wetsuit with joy and riding massive waves all the way into shore.  No, I’m not yet standing.  I haven’t even tried.   And the wetsuit doesn’t exactly “slip” on.

One more year of Mama Renew has brought me to a unique blend of living adventurously and having the compassion for myself to simply enjoy where I am. I may stand one day, maybe never.  For now I am loving being out there in the surf with the absolute freedom to play with no assumptions, no judging, no limits, just pure beautiful play.

Surfing, by the way, is really really fun.

***************

click here to comment!

And you?  What do you imagine would be really, really fun, but….something holds you back?

Join our Mama Renew Facebook Group for special updates and events.

Recent Status Update from a Mama Friend: A mini skirt is a detriment in vinyl covered east Texas.

Here we are in 2009, more and yet less connected than we ‘ve ever been.  The social media phenomenon known as Facebook has brought together many old friends, some dear, others distant, many all but forgotten until they showed up as a Friend Request.

Spending time with some teenagers recently revealed their wonderful habit of transforming random moments in the day into rather brilliant facebook status updates. This quirky habit soon revealed a benefit (beyond having a vibrantly active facebook page!), allowing us to share our lives with honesty, humor, and insight.

There is much beauty and experience to be shared, even in an ordinary day. Discoveries and reflections, successes and quandries, each present us with an opportunity to share with our broader community a glimpse into the authentic experience of our lives. You never know how your words may inspire, challenge or amuse a “Friend” in their own life.

Our challenge to you:  if you’re on Facebook (and if you’re not, kudos to you – and stay that way!), make your next status update one that shares more than just the rain or your day at the zoo. Here are a few ideas:

1. Feeling inspired by a blog post or youtube video?  Share with friends by creating a link using the Share This button at the base of the blog post.

2. Reading a great book?  Pick out a special quote to share.

3.  Share the quirky moments in your day, the ones that help friends get to know you in new ways, and remind them to find beauty and humor in the unexpected.

***************

click here to comment!

Will you be our friend?

Join our Mama Renew Facebook Group for special updates and events.

We are pleased to share with you below the writings of Karen Maezen Miller, author of Momma Zen (2007), Hand Wash Cold: Care Instructions for an Ordinary Life (upcoming 2010) and the Cheerio Road blog.  As always she has managed to convey with beauty and meaning the complexity of life as a mother in our world today.

Enjoy her words of wisdom…

The World Needs a Homemaker

by Karen Maezen Miller

Last week I attended a retreat and came home infused with quiet calm and well-being. Then I glanced at the headlines in the newspaper and was shocked anew at the unimaginable depth of pain in this world. The scope of suffering is inconceivable.

How can we respond in the face of this? Where do we begin to do good? I will tell you the only way I know to begin.

Empty the full hampers, sort and wash the laundry without resentment or commentary.

Sweep the floor of dust, mud and crumbs at your feet.

Don’t ask who made the mess.

At the grocery store, give your place in line to the person behind you.

Ask the checker how her day is going, and mean it.

On the way out, give your pocket money to the solicitor at the card table no matter what the cause.

Buy a cup of lemonade from the kids on the sidewalk stand. Tell them to keep the change.

Roll down your car window when you see the homeless man on the corner with the sign. Give him money. Have no concern over what he will do with it.

Smile at him. It will be the first smile he has seen in a very long time.

Write a thank you letter. Yes, a letter. If you do not have a reason to write one, do it without a reason.

Do not fight with your partner, your roommate, your spouse, or your children. If that seems impossible, just do not engage in the next fight, and don’t worry about the one that comes after. It might not come.

Do not try to convince anyone else of your point of view. That’s why they call it “point” of view. The point is just you.

If you feel yourself tensing in frustration, no matter what the circumstance, say, “I’m sorry.”

Do not indulge in despair over the futility of your impact or question the outcome.

Make yourself at home and take care of it as your own. It’s the only one there is.

See the original post on Cheerio Road and enjoy the rest of her writings!

***************

click here to comment!