Mama Renew

On her recent post blogger Mommy Instincts bemoans:

Why can’t I have it all together?….

I hear you, mama. I hear this over and over again from mothers. I hear it inside my own head all the time. As she writes, “I am in a constant battle with myself.”

I have this vision of what my life could look like if I just had it all together. A lot of it revolves around clutter – the stuff that takes up the space in my life. Some of it is “to do clutter” – you know, the things on the list that I haven’t dealt with, and as a result are weighing on me. Some of it is inner clutter – beliefs & assumptions that I would do well to set aside.

At the core of it all though is this inner belief that so many of us carry – that somehow all the other mothers “have it all together,” and only we are floundering.

While some may on the surface appear to have things “together” in ways you can only dream of, there is always something that has to “give”. Each of us makes our peace with our reality – our unique children’s needs, work & school schedules, our home space – and strives to find a balance that will work.

A balance that will work is a hard thing to find, but I do believe it’s out there. According to the dictionary the true meaning of balance is all about harmonious distribution. I find this enormously freeing.

The mythical life balance and “having it all together” simply isn’t out there – but I do believe that there can be harmony.

In these the final 24 hours of 2009, I invite all of you who are feeling out of whack to ponder: What will help bring harmony & ease into the year to come?

The shifts can be small, and they do make a difference. The first step, perhaps, is releasing our own inner judgment – the very foundation of self-care.

Reaching out and sharing our messy life with those we love helps us know that this struggle for mythical “togetherness” is a shared one. Thank you, Mommy Instincts, for bringing your own inner struggle to this public forum. You’re not alone.

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Time for “other mother” confessions – tell us about your piles, your lists, your inner battles with the mythical “other mother.”

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We know that self-care is all about the small moments.  The five minute stretch, tea with a friend, saying no, asking for help…  Each of these nurtures our growth as women and mothers, and represent one step forward on the path of Mama Renew.  In honour of the small moments, we are excited to share with you our new biweekly email & blog update:

Welcome to RENEW

featuring one self-care inspiration

and links to our latest blog postings.

One short inspiring RENEW every other week
No more, no less, sweet & simple.

SNOW DAY!!!!

We realize that those words may not evoke feelings of pure wonder & excitement in all of you.

Along with the glory of a heavy snow fall comes the complete revisioning of the day ahead.  If you have school-aged children, you will know well the quick mental reshuffle that occurs when they are unexpectedly at home all day long.

We got an email from our younger son’s Kindergarten teacher today with the following:

In a circle of friends we were reflecting on favourite childhood memories.  Five out of seven had memories of sharing with family on a now day.  No pressure?! Really.

There is something special about a snow day.  The world is quiet(er).  The desire to bake grows stronger.  Perhaps we too can treat it as a Mama Renew day.  A day of play.  Of embracing the unexpected.  Celebrating our children and their utter glee.

Amidst it all, remember to sit down for a quiet mug of hot chocolate (with whipped cream, of course) while they play.

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Favourite snow day memories?

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Another Holiday Season is upon us.

A busy time, yes, but also one when we are deeply aware of the importance of family and tradition, and the cycle of the seasons.  As we navigate the holiday parties and gift lists, our sense of connection with the fundamental rhythm of the season can be diminished.

It is interesting to note that in labour, a core coping approach for most women involves some element of rhythm.  Rocking, moaning, swaying, breath, each of these offers a sense of ritual, a grounding in something that feels solid in the midst of the unknown.

In this busy holiday season we also long for rhythm, seeking some sense of connection with our foundation of family and tradition.  In her book Seven Times the Sun, Shea Darian writes:

“The rhythm of family is a crucial catalyst in restoring the rhythm of the world.”

Perhaps our best response to the whirlwind of the holiday season is to return to our first rhythms, those of our family.  A daily family walk,  bedtime songs, faith traditions & pizza night.  Each of these helps to create a safe space in which we and our children can feel held in rhythm with our needs rather than drawn into the needs of the world around us.

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How do you create rhythm within your family?

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Where’s all my soul sisters?

Lemme Hear Y’all Flow Sisters!

On Saturday night ten ordinary mothers went missing.  In their place emerged the Soul Sisters of Sunrise, setting aside beloved wool sweaters and rain boots for a parade of costumes that included evening gowns, bling, 1940s swing wear,  lingerie and fishnets.   The occasion?  The parent talent show fundraiser for our tiny Sunrise Waldorf School on Vancouver Island, BC.

It all started with a simple email invitation, and 10 of us answered with astounding enthusiasm.  By the 3rd night it was clear this was no ordinary talent show act – our set list was anything but tame.  Fever (a la Peggy lee), Candyman (Cristina Aguilera – see below), and um…. Lady Marmalade (Pink & Friends).

Our mission clear, we devoted ourselves to an intensive weekly rehearsals lasting 3-4 hours each.   This level of commitment reveals how much each of us was gaining from the group.  Reconnecting with former lives in theatre, dance & music, a sense of discovery in one another as we let ourselves get wilder by the week, and the satisfaction that comes from creating something special together in a group.

Appropriately, the show was a benefit for a new Social Inclusion program at the school.  Our time together revealed the importance of connecting with other parents in playful, creative ways – getting to know one another beyond the assumptions made in the school parking lot.  Courage, trust and sisterhood were all needed to step forward in glamorous gear and share with our school community our wild side…  Pics to come soon, once I have permission from all my beloved soul sisters.

For now I’ll let you imagine with the video from candyman…

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Inspired? Amused?

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