What happens in Mexico…
I’m going to Mexico with my mom this week. In the past year we have celebrated our 40th and 70th birthdays, and she wisely proposed that we honour this momentous year with a shared adventure.
We’ve never done this before. The most we’ve managed is an outing to the mall, a few treasured day hikes, and antique foraging. I haven’t spent this much time alone with her since our tour of east coast colleges when I was 17 – a mere 23 years ago…
It’s a beautiful gift, this time together – I’m stepping away from my family, work, and a greenhouse waiting for me to begin this years seedlings. She too is leaving behind responsibilities at home, the church, her volunteer work and the garden club. We’re shedding our busy days with the hope to reconnect as women, and as mother and daughter.
As mother-daughter teams go, we’re pretty darned good. We enjoy and respect one another, and share in our love of colour, antiques, sewing, cooking, and music.
Still, we lead very different lives, and at times we have both struggled to respect the other’s choices and lifestyle. Every visit includes one good squabble and cry, and my husband and brothers all now simply wait for it to come, and know that it will pass…
For this time together I will strive to:
1. Do my best to listen with my heart.
2. Ask good questions.
3. Be open to learning something new about her.
4. Enjoy her and have a good laugh every day.
5. Honour all that she has given me.
6. Share openly about my life & choices.
7. Know that the love I feel for my boys is the same love as she feels for me.
8. Love and appreciate her as she is.
Here’s to hoping that what happens in Mexico,
comes home from Mexico…
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Hi Sarah,
If it’s not too late, you should pick up the book Travelling with Pomegranates…it’s a beautiful memoir about a mother-daughter trip that has so inspired me!
Happy travels…
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I just got back from Mexico and am in a different, yet parallel place. I loved it so much and felt so connected to my Mom without her there that I have decided to make the small town I visited part of her retirement plan. I am going to take her there within a couple of months and try to settle her into a condo and new life. I will print your post and keep it in my wallet for inspiration, truthfulness and to help me respect all that she has given to me.
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I love this Strive list! For me, I see it as valuable not just for myself, but as something I could offer my mother as we work to find a balance we have never held. I agree Rick, that number 7 is the kicker. I will be brave and state that that becoming a parent illuminated the ways in which my mother has been unable to love me, and so now things such as this strive list give me tools and thoughts that might allow me to parent her without negatively impacting how I parent myself and my child.
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I think I will tattoo those wise 8 strivings on my heart. Thanks Sarah. Enjoy!
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#7 is the kicker for me. I never fully understood how much my parents loved me until I experienced that unbounded love for our boys.
Here’s to hoping that you come back from Mexico – soon, we miss you!
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