On Saying No
Part of offering a workshop at Hollyhock as a presenter is offering a one night session for members of the wider community. Lastnight I had the opportunity to mentor a very fun workshop on Making Room for Yes (which of course also ties in beautifully with the fine art of saying No).
Over the course of the evening I became increasingly clear that I had my own No to say. With a back injury that has now migrated into shoulder & neck I am needing to be very careful with my movements to support healing. Hollyhock hosts a wonderful early morning row out to a small rock island, however, and I WANTED to go, along with other women from our group.
So this morning I went down to the beach at 6:45 planning to simply photograph them & wave goodbye. As I said my reluctant but clear “No” the guide welcomed me onto the boat with his 100% support to not row at all. While saying “no” was hard, saying “yes” was even harder. To know that 10 other people were going to do all the work while I simply sat there? Excruciating! and Lovely.
Your Virtual Retreat task is to consider – Is there something you need to say No to? Even if you truly Long to be able to say Yes? What might open up in your life if you are able to say the No that needs to be said?
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[...] Virtual Retreat, and I’m still in awe of what it became. While my mind certainly pondered saying “no” to this last minute project in favour of all the other things on my “to do” list, my [...]
I returned to teaching full-time when my daughter Zoë was 4 months old. Prior to my little Z, I was on all types of committees and attended many of the social functions at my school. Now that Zoë will be 3 in October, I still find myself occasioanlly feeling bad or having to explain myself when I say “No” to something, however, it has gotten easier. I’ve realized that 100 can only be divided so many ways….I cannot possibly give 100% of myself to everything. My husband also reminds me to pay attention to myself as well. (He’s awesome by the way.
) ) I’m getting better at saying “yes” when he tells me to go do something for me.
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My eyes seemed to hone in on the line “While saying “no” was hard, saying “yes” was even harder”— When I was pregnant, some seasoned mamas kept telling me, “always accept help when its offered”. Of course I would! I wasn’t crazy enough to do it all on my own! Er….
Yes has always been harder than No for me.
With reflection on this post, I see the ways in which both of these words can be difficult to use because of the ways in which we feel (or fear) others will interpret them. And yet, if we are using these words to honour/nourish/ support ourselves, then ultimately the outcome will be authentic and aligned with the highest good. Perhaps keeping this in mind while standing firm on an issue (no), or gracefully yielding or accepting a situation (yes), these words will not be weighted by external fears, but supported by our inner buoyancy.
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Good for you! How thoughtful of the guide to include you & good of you to say yes. Nicely done!
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