Mama Renew

Yesterday I boldly declared:    This week we’re going to find the time, create the time, make the time… Will you join us?

But I don’t have time.

You don’t know how busy I am.

There are so many things on my to do list.

I don’t have childcare.

But I just had a baby.

Not this week but maybe next?

Sound familiar?  Ah, yes…. the challenge of finding, creating, making the time to care for ourselves.  While core needs such as food, sleep and water get met on a basic level, the elements of self-care that nurture our spirit are lower on the list.

All of the above statements are real.   We are indeed busy mamas.

What if, instead of talking about how “busy” we are, we transformed that word to “full”???

“Full” is an apt description of our roles & responsibilities, but also opens the way for a different understanding of how we live.  The feeling of the word “full” reminds me that this is indeed my goal.  I want a full life, one that is fulfilling and alive & full of things that nurture me, my family & my community.

Your challenge today:

Consider one small thing you can do to help you have a more fulfilling day & nurture your mama spirit.

Love to dance?  Have a dance party with your kids.

Longing for the spa? Mix up a homemade facial mask and wear it around the house.

Feeling lonely?  Call a friend now.

Love to Cook?  Call a friend and spend the afternoon cooking together & share the bounty.

Craving mama time?  Watch for tomorrow’s post on spending time alone!

We’re one week into the Back to Self 30 day Challenge! If you’re just joining us now, it’s not too late – simply “Like” our facebook page and join in the fun.

Daydream, by Chantey Dayal

While I hadn’t planned on doing theme weeks, our first week of the challenge seemed to focus on physical self-care. This emerged in part due to my need to care for myself during a miserable cold. It also, however, is the aspect of self-care that is the most obvious. Articles & websites & experts abound telling us about good nutrition, exercise, water and sleep as the path to wellness. But wait, there’s more!!!

We’ve taken steps forward in caring for our Bodies, now it’s time for Spirit as our theme for week #2:

What activities nurture your spirit?

For me, these include creativity, dance, spiritual practice, yoga, alone time…

Here’s the catch: For many busy mamas I know, these are the very activities that too often get set aside in favour of family and household responsibilities. “I just don’t have time” is the mantra I hear over and over again.

This week we’re going to find the time, create the time, make the time… Will you join us?

Much gratitude to brilliant painter Chantey Dayal for the use of her painting for this blog. You can learn more about Chantey on her website & facebook page. Watch for more of her paintings in future postings.

I’ve been sick.   Sick enough that I stumbled over to my neighbors door 2 days ago wearing a full balaclava over my head, a big scarf around my neck, and a sign with the following words scrawled in red ink:

Please Call School – Need Rick Home – Doctor Now

This, after a 5 minute episode in which I enjoyed (not) a croup-like episode alone in the house gasping for breath & certain I was going to die.   Lucky for me my husband showed up from school drop-off just moments later and whisked me off, not to the doctor but to the Emergency Room.   Apparently they don’t like making patients who can’t breathe waiting for an appointment at the clinic.

Official diagnosis?  Acute Upper Respiratory Infection with Laryngitis. Origin?  Viral.  I liked this part – no tough antibiotic decision.  Lovely doctor told me to keep on doing what I was doing – lemon honey garlic ginger tea (she even approved of my addition of homemade rhubarb cinnamon vodka).  And reassured me that when another croup-like episode occured, it would pass, and I would be able to breathe again.

Home again, I settled into two full days of life as a sick mama.  Nestled on the couch with my hot vodka tea, unable to utter even a word to my children as my voice is completely gone.    I’m doing a bit better today, made it to yoga (part of my personal 30 day challenge), and am actually able to sit here at the computer with something resembling focus.  No voice yet, but I’m trying to take that as a blessing.  I’m not all that good at being quiet…

What about the challenge?

I felt horrible announcing the Back to Self Challenge and then disappearing!   My personal challenge for these few days was to simply let go.  No guilt about not working, not caring for children, not cooking meals, not doing yoga.  All my body needed to do was rest in silence.   Thankfully my dear husband works from home as well, and we’ve had two volunteers here to help on the farm, so I’ve had plenty of support and been able to fully let go.

So just a bit late, here is your challenge for days #3 & 4 & 5:

Listen to your Body!

If you need water, drink it.

If you need to pee, go.

If you feel sore, do something about it (yoga, massage, 5 minute stretch…).

If you are craving sex, intimacy, touch… create it.

If you’re full, stop eating!

If you need to go to bed at 7 p.m., do it.

Take Care, Mamas!

Follow our Mama Renew facebook page to join the challenge!

Day #1 was a success!  We heard from women around North America making a commitment to:

stretch, read, study, drink water, hike, drink less wine, go to the salon, clear clutter, tweeze eyebrows, pray…

Sounds like a good day to me!

Interestingly, the #1 self-care intention y’all shared was to drink more water. It’s so simple, isn’t it?   You know the feeling.  You’re thirsty, but you’ve pushed the sensation aside in favour of making school lunches or getting out the door on time. 

We’ve been working with mothers long enough to know that moms are really, really good at delaying that metaphorical sip of water. We’re good at talking about our desire for self-care, our longing for balance, and the challenges we’re facing, and not always so good at taking steps towards change. The busy nature of family life too often takes precedence, and our needs are set aside.

In a breakthrough moment in a Mama Renew group last summer one woman declared water, sleep, and daily exercise to be the absolute core of self-care.  If these are in place, she pondered, perhaps the deeper levels of self-care such as asking for help and knowing when to say no will come more easily.   Let’s find out, shall we?

So for day #2 of the Back to Self Challenge, let’s start with Water.   Lots and lots of water.  Like 8 – 10 glasses today.  & tomorrow.  & the next day!

Follow our Mama Renew facebook page to join the challenge!

It’s fall, and there is that crisp, fresh, anything is possible feeling in the air.  Fall feels like a commitment to me – a threshold – a time when I feel an immense freedom and sense of choice.

At the same time I’ve just emerged from a busy summer full of health challenges.  The back to school transition has been smooth, but still a big adjustment as we learn all over again how to do the routine.  We still have a mountain of zucchini to preserve and haven’t even touched the apples yet.  My work to-do list is daunting at best. Even with the new hours of freedom while the boys are at school, I find myself wondering how on earth to make time for it all.

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)

There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time for every purpose….

-The Byrds…

Hold on – a time for every purpose?  I will admit that with everything going on this fall my normal tendency would be to put self-care on the back burner.

Something is different this year.  My sense of fall overwhelm is overshadowed by the awareness that I cannot move forward in a healthy way with all of my commitments without first making a commitment to myself.

Thus… the 30 day Back to Self Challenge!

I challenge you do something every single day to nurture your own return to self.

Keep it simple & manageable – 15 minutes of reading a good novel, 5 minutes of morning yoga, or drinking enough water in a day.

I’ll be posting here regularly – on the blog & on facebook – with musings on my experience and the nature of commitment to self.   Please join me!

What will you do for yourself today?

**************

click here to comment!

My Back to Self Commitment:

I am beginning a 30 day Bikram Yoga (yes, the hot yoga!) challenge starting today.  I look forward to seeing the ways in which it shapes my body, mind, heart & spirit over the month to come.  Yes, I know, this is not representative of the words “simple & manageable” I used above – but I know it is absolutely necessary for my health right now, so I’m going for it!

Subscribe to RENEW •  Follow us on Twitter • Join our Facebook Page

Did you know we have a weekly Mama Renew post on Mothering.com?  Here is this weeks’ offering:

How often do you wish for just one more pair of willing hands in your household – as so perfectly demonstrated by Jessica in her Mothering blog post this week?  Someone else to help with dishes, garden, a good kitchen sweep, and occasional childcare.  You know – someone to drain the pasta while you hold a crying child.

There was a time in our life when we had a maid.  Two maids, actually – they came together every other week and scrubbed my home spotless.  It was amazing.  This is no longer within our budget, sadly, and I have really really missed them.

This summer our family has taken on a new realm of household support – WWOOFers (Willing Workers on Organic Farms, an international movement of generally young people wanting to travel, spend time on a farm, learn english, and enjoy family life.  We offer room and board in exchange for time working in the home and garden, and they stay for 1 – 3 weeks at a time.

Click Here to Read the rest at Mothering.com – the good, the challenging – all about asking for help, letting go of control, and working through the guilt!

******

Subscribe to RENEW •  Follow us on Twitter • Join our Facebook Page

Thank you all for your votes for us

as the 2010 SavvyMom Top Mom Entrepreneur.

I believe we have a good chance, but won’t know anything more until mid-October.  For now I feel such gratitude for all your support and the messages sharing what our programs have meant to you.  

Winning this award would mean so much to me – many long hours and much sacrifice for my family have gone into bringing Dancing Star Birth and Mama Renew to life.

At the same time, I recognize that these contests are inevitably skewed – those of us with a larger email list of past and current clients have a much better chance of winning.  Being involved in the mom entrepreneur community has shown me time and time again the depth of commitment and sacrifice needed, and each of you out there doing your best to build a healthy business and nurture your family has my utmost respect.

Thank you again to all of you for your support, not just in this competition, but also for sharing with us your sense of “belonging” to the community of Dancing Star Birth & Mama Renew. It has been an absolute privilege to support each of you in the growth and care of your family.

Thank you all for your support over the years, as clients & colleagues. We promise – you will hear us howling with glee if we win.  And if we don’t, you will see us continuing to do this work that we love, always seeking new ways to support our community.

Blessings,

Sarah & all the wonderful women of Dancing Star Birth & Mama Renew.

The wise women at Nummies.com asked moms if they could go back to before their first baby, what would they tell themselves. These are their answers. Everyone in the video is a mom, and I find myself wishing I had met every one of them nine years ago when I was pregnant with my first…

Enjoy!

***********

Comment here…

Subscribe to RENEW •  Follow us on Twitter • Join our Facebook Page