Mama Renew

This month’s Mama Renewed is Amanda, who describes herself as a mover and shaker – a lover of dancing and a soulful activist.  We supported her through new motherhood in a Mothers Unfolding group, and now as a seasoned mother with our new Mama Renew group on Vancouver Island.

About Amanda

I am mama to Cosmo-Rae, my wondrous four year old girl, and life partner to wonderful Kevin.  I’ve been working for the last decade as an organizer, advocate and facilitator in the student movement as well as involved in several social justice pursuits.  Three words to describe me are Loving, Compassionate, and Striving.

Why Mama Renew?

When my daughter was only 4 weeks old I joined a Mothers Unfolding group in Vancouver.   I was able to get some distance from my experience of complete overwhelm and learn to breathe for myself, along side my babe.  It is no surprise then, that when another major life transition occurred I immediately sought the support of Mama Renew.

I recently moved with my family from bustling East Vancouver to the beautiful Cowichan Valley.  I had a strong sense that Mama Renew would help me grow some friendships and community.  I also wanted to give one of the most precious gifts to myself;  dedicated time to explore my inner being.

New Insights

I discovered that what I have been doing for self-care since my daughter was born no longer meets my needs and desires.  When she was a baby I counted on deliciously long showers, dancing, and copious amounts of fantastic face cream each night.  The sessions gave me a chance to reflect on my core needs and doing so has  transformed my idea of self-care.   I now know that I do best when I create the time and space to go inward, feeling my core self and listening within.

I loved exploring the concepts of ‘village’ and asking for help.  These ideas are at the heart of my personal vision for the world and yet I often struggle to be intimate in community and won’t easily ask for help.

I also experienced the blessed richness that comes from women gathering with intent.  I was reminded how when women are given the chance to be real with each other, shared wisdom flows and we all become stronger for it.

Challenges

I often have a hard time knowing what to let go of and what to say no to.  I’m a yes person, seeing the mighty oak in the acorn comes easily to me.  However it can get distorted just as easily.  I want to learn the power of discernment -  learning to say no to the right things.

Moving Forward

Moving from a large city to a town, leaving my beloved work and watching my child make greater steps towards her independence meant that I needed to get some insight and find renewed inspiration for the journey ahead.  Mama Renew has done that for me and I feel gratitude.

Welcome to Mama Renew! Blog, Groups, Retreats, & more.  We hope to offer you moments of inspiration and clarity, insight and questioning, and a sense of being part of this beautiful community that is Mama Renew.

Why Mama Renew? For us, the picture above says it perfectly:

Nurturing Community. Building Connections.  Being True to Ourselves and with each other.  Speaking our Minds.  Living from our Hearts. Sharing in our Journey and Helping Each Other find our way.  Laughter is good too.

If you live in BC, be sure to check out our fabulous groups for new and seasoned mothers.

Seasoned Mother?

Reconnect with a Mama Renew Group

New Mother?

Enjoy Mothers Unfolding with your baby

Sign up now on the right column to receive RENEW, our biweekly email digest, or a RSS feed.  You’ll also notice the share button at the bottom of each post to share favorites with friends on Facebook or by email.  We invite you to share your insights through the comments feature.

“Both Mama Renew and Mother’s Unfolding have been hugely positive for me in my own journey-  I’ll continue to renew, unfold, renew and unfold some more. Thank you for creating a safe space for me to explore and grow!” – Janice, 2009

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We know that self-care is all about the small moments.  The five minute stretch, tea with a friend, saying no, asking for help…  Each of these nurtures our growth as women and mothers, and represent one step forward on the path of Mama Renew.  In honour of the small moments, we are excited to share with you our new biweekly email & blog update:

Welcome to RENEW

featuring one self-care inspiration

and links to our latest blog postings.

One short inspiring RENEW every other week
No more, no less, sweet & simple.

This month’s Mama Renewed is Charmaine, mother of Franny (4 1/2), cancer survivor, and adoptive parent in waiting.  We supported her through birth with our sister practice, Dancing Star Birth, new motherhood in our very first Mothers Unfolding group, and now as a seasoned mother with Mama Renew.

About Charmaine

I’m the oldest of 2 daughters, born and raised in the Okanagan to immigrant parents. I’m an interior designer by training but I have recently decided to let go of this practice to find another creative outlet and focus on raising my daughter.  Three words to describe me?  Thoughtful, creative thinking, and able to tell the truth and go deep (ok, more than 3 words!).

I’ve recently been through some momentous life changes (miscarriages, cervical cancer, family deaths, and infertility) and have managed to find a positive outlook and honour the gifts within all that has happened.

Why Mama Renew?

When I heard about Mama Renew I was hooked by the words “a group for mothers to find balance and renew themselves.”  I was, and am always seeking to go deeper, to know truth and explore myself more. I love being connected to other like minded women, inspiring and feeling inspired.

New Insights

I didn’t know how important self-care was. Mama Renew got me to break away from self pity and resentment. Taking time out to have adult thoughts and activities was a revelation. It seemed both foreign and strangely indulgent to take time for myself. How far from the old me had I strayed…

Our Mama Renew group has continued meeting beyond our official session, and after 2 years of meeting we know each other so well we are able to settle in right away to what’s most important to us.  A core part of self-care for me is connecting and sharing with my women friends.

The listening and support I received in Mama Renew helped me focus on healing, acceptance and ultimately to happiness. I am so lucky to be alive and living this beautiful life.

Challenges

My biggest self-care challenge is that I get overwhelmed if I have too many things going on. This is easy to do since I love being involved and getting out there. Life balance for me means going slow, being with my friends and family and being creative.

Moving Forward

I recently participated in the first annual Mama Renew retreat, a powerful weekend and another step in my transformation.  Just after the retreat, I was feeling very full of life and planned a naked photo shoot with a friend. I pranced around our property with an orange silk scarf, running down trails, nestling in the grasses of the meadow and perching under a pine tree in a peaceful Siddhartha pose.

While the photo shoot was outside my normal comfort zone, it was a wonderful experience. I thought it was a good idea to celebrate myself for where I am now, celebrating my 40th year. Thank you Mama Renew for sparking me to take risks and get outside my comfort zone!

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This month’s Mama Renewed is Lynette Stockner, mother of Felix (3 1/2), and owner of Sage Yoga. We supported her through birth with our sister practice, Dancing Star Birth, new motherhood in Mothers Unfolding, and now Mama Renew as the mother of a growing boy.  Today we have the joy of seeing her support other new mothers in our community.

About Lynette

When I gave birth to Felix I found the transformation to motherhood to be one of the most important stages of self-reckoning of my life.  I began offering prenatal yoga out of my desire to share in the  journey and transformation of pregnancy and birth while helping women care for their bodies and  growing babies.

Why Mama Renew?

After loving Birthing from Within and Mother’s Unfolding, I knew that Mama Renew would once again be in sync with my needs.

If Mama Renew is a house, it opens up all the doors and windows to let the fresh air revive you – even in your attic and basement!  As a parent I can sweep myself into a neglected corner with all the distractions of daily life.  But not at Mama Renew!

New Insights

As a very independent woman I have really felt the changes of motherhood – embraced many and struggled with others. Sharing with the amazing women in Mama Renew was empowering and gave relevant perspective to my life.  I learned that compassion, patience and humour are my best allies (especially as I apply them to myself!).

There have been many changes as I learned to not judge myself (as much!) and to prioritize self-care: time in nature, gardening, reading. acupunture, yoga, and time quietly enjoyed over a decaf in a café . . . by myself.  I  make sure I leave the housework behind if the day has something more interesting to offer, and hire a babysitter once a month whether I need it or not for a full day.

I started knitting and then started a monthly series of craft nights with friends. I created a cookbook (that I keep lovingly refining), hired a financial advisor and have a weekly “date” with my husband where he cooks dinner for me after Felix goes to bed.  I really, really, REALLY notice the benefits!

While my interests are still deliciously diverse, the edge I now play is truer to my energy, core passions and commitments.

Challenges

I still have a hard time asking friends and family for childcare. I am so CAPABLE! (read: scared to put someone out!) I routinely ask for help for practical reasons but I still need to ask . . . just because! Recently however, I have hooked up with the most terrific mother’s helper in the world – my nine-year-old neighbor Sarah, who comes over to be with Felix while I take a few hours to work at home.

Moving Forward

Digging deep in Mama Renew has helped me to more fully take on life as a mother. I am conscious on a daily basis of the gifts that unfold in my life: to witness and enjoy, to question and create, to practice patience, and the art of responding instead of reacting. As a yogi these daily practices constantly resonate with my values.

So when my son asks me, “Are you still growing mama?”

I say, “Yes. Deeper and wiser every day.”

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This month’s Mama Renewed is Sarah Hughes, stay-at-home mother of three children ages 3, 6, and 8.  Her journey to self-care and renewal includes some remarkable insights and life changes.

About Sarah

A big part of my journey with Mama Renew has been to appreciate myself and what I “do” since I haven’t worked outside of the home for 9 years!  How to describe myself? I love the mountains and the water  – being outside rejuvenates me.  I love taking time alone even though I crave company – I need both.  Oh, and I love to listen to people laughing!

Why Mama Renew?

I joined Mama Renew after a chance meeting with co-founder Jennifer-Lee while at play gym with our kids.  I was in the later stages of recovering from postpartum depression and recognized that a Mama Renew group might help me sustain my progress.  The timing was perfect.

Mama Renew helped me let go of guilt and understand that all mothers need self-care and support.  When I reflect on my depression I can see that between a recent move and the distance from my family in the UK, I didn’t have the support I needed.

New Insights

I have found it very helpful to check-in with myself when I feel stressed, asking myself “What do I need in this moment?”  As a result I can often be found taking a mini-me break with a cup of tea – I am British after all!  I may still feel stretched, but I am now better at understanding my stress and responding to it.

I now schedule me time such as an hour or two at VanDusen gardens with my journal, and evenings out with friends or my husband.    I like to book evenings a month ahead so that I can balance my needs with other family activities.

My mental and physical health are priorities. I get up at 6 a.m. to exercise 3 times a week, and as a result have lost some weight that needed to go.  My toddler’s nap times are often used to call or mail a friend or do something that is important to me.

I am feeling ready to live with more creativity and adventure, and have been zip-lining despite a fear of heights!  In the future, I am feeling inclined to say “Yes” to opportunities to try something new.

Moving Forward

I have gained so much from my Mama Renew group.  I was a little intimidated at my first session to be with such strong, dynamic women, but I’ve come to realize that whether we are a career woman or a stay-at-home mom, we all have so much in common. We laugh outrageously and cry with one another, sometimes in the same evening.

We all agree that having shared so deeply we are less inclined to want to spend our precious time chatting about the weather.  It now strikes me as odd that so often our interactions in society are at a surface level.  How can we ever hope to support each other unless we are more honest?

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This month’s Mama Renewed is Callie Camp.  We first met Callie 3 years ago when she was launching her Vancouver East franchise of Fit 4 Two and joined us for a Mothers Unfolding series with her newborn daughter.  Three years later, pregnant with her second daughter, she joined Mama Renew to help build a foundation for herself before entering life with two children.

About Callie

I am the happy mama of two beautiful girls (Carmen, 3, and Keira, 1).  I am also a Prenatal & Postnatal Fitness Specialist, a wrangler of babies, a singer of songs and an educator and motivator of moms and moms-to-be! I LOVE traveling, reading, cooking, quilting, knitting, triathalons, and most recently – vegetable gardening!  Three words that capture my way being in this world are Dynamic, Adventurous, and Adaptable.

Why Mama Renew?

I benefited so profoundly as a new mother in Mothers Unfolding, and I couldn’t imagine that Mama Renew would be anything less than amazing.  When I started my boundary setting and emotional self-care had gone out the window.  I was really intimidated by the whole “mother of two” idea and needed to build my confidence for the changes ahead.

New Insights

Boundary-setting.  How to say NO and ask for help when I need it.  Accepting that everything in my life is a CHOICE and that I have the power to change things that aren’t working for me.  Being empowered by what I CAN do, instead of disappointed by what I cannot.

The topic of Good is Good Enough was ( and still is) really challenging for me, but was also the most valuable.  I am a self-admitted over-achiever, control freak, and perfectionist, all of which are really great for my professional life, but not so great for my personal life!

Moving Forward

For me, good self-care comes from recognizing that my emotional well-being is just as important as my physical health.  As a mother of two, my life has changed drastically and sometimes unrealistic expectations get in the way.  My tendency is to try to do everything myself, so letting go of a bit of control and asking for help continues to challenge me.

When I jut sit down and look at my reality and accept the things that I cannot change, I feel like a huge weight is lifted and I’m actually enjoying myself more.  Yes, my house is messier and sometimes work deadlines get delayed.  I am constantly looking, and looking again! at the big picture to set my priorities.  My hope is that I can get better at recognizing the times when I need to reprioritize Before it becomes an issue.

This month’s Mama Renewed is Jenny Taylor, mother of two young boys and pregnant with her third!  She is the owner of Birthing Buddies Childbirth Services, renting out Aquadoula Birth Pools and obstetric Tens units as well as offering private, in-home prenatal classes.

About Jenny

I am Jenny – woman, mother, lover, partner, daughter, friend, teacher, doula, breastfeeding counselor, believer in the power of women’s bodies to birth their babies…and much more…not necessarily in that order.  Three words that capture my way being in this world are Passionate, Loving, and Authentic.

I live in North Vancouver with my wonderful husband and two beautiful boys and we have another baby on the way.  I took a break from my career in ESL when my first son was born -  I had always wanted children and was happy focusing my time and attention on our new family.  Inspired by my birth experiences, I trained as a birth doula and become the owner of Birthing Buddies Childbirth Services.

Why Mama Renew?

When I joined Mama Renew in January 2008 I was feeling stuck in a rut.  I wasn’t happy with myself on many levels, especially in my parenting and relationship.

What a wonderful group of women I met!  We all came to the group for different reasons, challenging us all to look at our lives through different lenses.  I found that I had misplaced aspects of myself since having children, and reconnecting with the core of me was a moving experience.  I am pretty neat!

New Insights

Asking for help was a big lesson for me.  I was pushed into asking for help last spring when I had many births to attend, and needed the help of friends for childcare.  As I asked for help, I began to see that I also needed to learn to say no more often to both potential clients and to opportunities that were exciting, but not the best choice for me in that moment.  Recently my ability to say no has slipped, and I have found myself with a crazy schedule once again.  But the other night as I felt our baby tumble in my belly, I took a good look at my calendar and said no more.

I am still working on self-care.  It is amazing how easy it is to put my needs last, and this is a habit I am working hard to break.  For me, self-care means making and taking the time to do things that help me feel good, rejuvenate me and touch my soul.  It is hard to do when nurturing a young family but I know that when i do it I am a more connected mother, partner, and friend.

Moving Forward

The exploration of good is good enough was tough for me – my good was / is never good enough for me.  I am learning to set priorities and create a balance between my passion for my family and my work.  It isn’t always equal, but I now have the tools to recognize and correct that imbalance, or to accept that one exists and work with and around it.

I am still fine-tuning all the areas we explored together in Mama Renew.  Some days things go better than others.  Over and over again I remind myself that good is good enough

This month’s Mama Renewed is Bonnie Jarvis, mama to 3 lovely children (Faire, almost 7, Shea, 5, & Isla, 19 months), and co-founder of Doula Mamas.

About Bonnie

I consider myself “Mom” first and foremost, but also love my time with DoulaMamas as  a birth doula and teaching our Sibling Preparation Classes.  Mostly, though, I am Mama, taking my kids to and from school, baking, knitting, reading, and enjoying my little one who is growing too fast!

Why Mama Renew?

I worked as an Early Childhood Educator for years before having children of my own.  As the Big Sister in my family I took care of my siblings at a pretty young age.  I had spent so much of my life taking care of others – it was time to take a little care of myself!  I was looking for a supportive group of women to surround me while I explored my relationship with self-care.

New Insights

The very first session made such a difference by helping me think outside of “mama” and inside of “Bonnie”.  I had defined myself by what I was doing in terms of raising my children for so long.  The first chapter forced me to think about myself beyond that, reconnecting me to the person I was before I became a mother and inviting that woman back into my life.

Challenges

I think I will be working on the concept of “Good is Good Enough” for years to come!  Life with 3 young ones means things are going to have to be Good Enough at some point nearly every day. I think I have become pretty good at saying Good is Good Enough, but still have trouble accepting that it is indeed Good Enough.  I’d like to come to a place where I don’t have to qualify it with “enough” and simply embrace things as they are, “Good is Good.”

On Self-Care

I know right away when I am out of balance, usually when I’ve spent a little too long meeting every one else’s needs and not tending to my own.  Favourite self-care activities include a girls’ night out with friends, or a date with my husband.  I let our busyness push aside my belly dancing for 2 years – this fall, I simply wrote it back in the calendar, and it is staying there.  Tuesday night is my night to be a belly dancer, not a Mama!

I have such a wonderful support system:  my husband will happily give me all the time I need – the only thing I have to do is TELL HIM! I’m trying to be open and honest about what I need, but asking for help isn’t something that comes easy.

Next Steps

I’ve decided to stop letting my desires and interests become a lower priority.  Life is busy, and it is so easy to let the so-called “extras” slide, but I gain so much when I take  break and read or knit or blog while my little one naps and the dishes don’t get done.  I don’t want to feel guilty because I am taking time for myself.

My first reaction to our busy family life is usually one of a martyr – “oh fine, I’ll add this to my ever-growing list of things I need to do and guess i won’t have any time for myself this week.”  I dream of the day that it is second-nature to place my self-care on the top of the list. There are still too many evenings where I collapse at the end of the day and realized I haven’t had any downtime.  But it is coming, and for now, it’s Good!

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