Mama Renew

This month’s Mama Renewed is Amanda, who describes herself as a mover and shaker – a lover of dancing and a soulful activist.  We supported her through new motherhood in a Mothers Unfolding group, and now as a seasoned mother with our new Mama Renew group on Vancouver Island.

About Amanda

I am mama to Cosmo-Rae, my wondrous four year old girl, and life partner to wonderful Kevin.  I’ve been working for the last decade as an organizer, advocate and facilitator in the student movement as well as involved in several social justice pursuits.  Three words to describe me are Loving, Compassionate, and Striving.

Why Mama Renew?

When my daughter was only 4 weeks old I joined a Mothers Unfolding group in Vancouver.   I was able to get some distance from my experience of complete overwhelm and learn to breathe for myself, along side my babe.  It is no surprise then, that when another major life transition occurred I immediately sought the support of Mama Renew.

I recently moved with my family from bustling East Vancouver to the beautiful Cowichan Valley.  I had a strong sense that Mama Renew would help me grow some friendships and community.  I also wanted to give one of the most precious gifts to myself;  dedicated time to explore my inner being.

New Insights

I discovered that what I have been doing for self-care since my daughter was born no longer meets my needs and desires.  When she was a baby I counted on deliciously long showers, dancing, and copious amounts of fantastic face cream each night.  The sessions gave me a chance to reflect on my core needs and doing so has  transformed my idea of self-care.   I now know that I do best when I create the time and space to go inward, feeling my core self and listening within.

I loved exploring the concepts of ‘village’ and asking for help.  These ideas are at the heart of my personal vision for the world and yet I often struggle to be intimate in community and won’t easily ask for help.

I also experienced the blessed richness that comes from women gathering with intent.  I was reminded how when women are given the chance to be real with each other, shared wisdom flows and we all become stronger for it.

Challenges

I often have a hard time knowing what to let go of and what to say no to.  I’m a yes person, seeing the mighty oak in the acorn comes easily to me.  However it can get distorted just as easily.  I want to learn the power of discernment -  learning to say no to the right things.

Moving Forward

Moving from a large city to a town, leaving my beloved work and watching my child make greater steps towards her independence meant that I needed to get some insight and find renewed inspiration for the journey ahead.  Mama Renew has done that for me and I feel gratitude.

The first in our series of Why Hollyhock? posts…if your little one is too young for you to attend our Mama Renew Retreat this year, let this be a nudge to remembering why Mama Time is so important.

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Imagine stepping out of the routine to a place where the only responsibility you have is to care for yourself.  No dishes, no work, no carpooling, no sibling squabbles.  Nobody else’s needs come first.

As you imagine such a reality you may find yourself thinking that you couldn’t possibly take 3 nights away from your family, or feel reluctant to ask for that much time & investment for yourself.

We have to step out of the routine to step back into ourselves. It has been said that we have to say a lot of small “no’s” to make room for a big Yes.

This as an opportunity to say a Great Big Yes!

Those of you who say Yes will be surrounded by stunning ocean, mountains, and spring flowers.  You will eat food so delicious and nourishing that you’ll buy the Hollyhock cookbook to try and recreate the goodness at home. You’ll soak in the oceanfront hot tub for sunrise or stargazing and anytime you please in between. You can choose from daily yoga, dance workshops, massage treatments, kayak outings and more.

Every moment of our time together is designed to nurture and inspire, gently nudge and deeply challenge, and give you the space and time you need to reconnect with yourself as a woman and mother.

See you there?   Space is limited!

For mothers of todders, tweens, teens & empty nesters

Visit the Mama Renew and Hollyhock websites to Learn More

or call Sarah at 604.254.1100

and Hollyhock at 1-800-933-6339 x232

Of all the good intentions for a new year, one of the most effective ways to bring change into ones life is to simply clear the clutter, one of the most important and yet least acknowledged aspects of self-care. When we are surrounded by remnants of our busy lives it is hard to find a way to live in a way that allows us to be whole.

On the Mothering.com forum one woman posted a challenge to clear 5 items a day for 30 days = 150 items gone from your life.  We agree that this is a prime time of year to clear the clutter – with the colder weather we spend a lot more time inside surrounded by our stuff…

Our family began the quest to clear clutter in the beginning of January.  It has, not surprisingly, gone in spurts, with wild days of clearing, and moments of feeling like we’ve released enough.  We’re finding, though, that after a few days of feeling “done”, a new awareness settles in of readiness to dive into yet another corner of our home.

Is there such a thing as “done” or “clear”?  As a talented hoarder of things that I “might do something with one day” I recognize that there will always be things in my life that I’m just not ready to let go of.  And I’ve been through enough clearing binges to know that each time I reach a new level of clarity on what I truly want to have in my life.

While we may not be “done” quite yet, the kitchen feels infinitely more manageable these days with clear counters and room on the shelves.  And the hallway cabinet even has a few empty drawers that I don’t even know how to fill.  We can see the floor in the basement again.  And it feels Good.  Tonight?  The craft collection…my favourite place to hoard.

As for the challenge,we’re well beyond 150!  Turns out if you get me at the “right time of the month” I can get rid of just about anything…

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Care to join me in the challenge?

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We know that self-care is all about the small moments.  The five minute stretch, tea with a friend, saying no, asking for help…  Each of these nurtures our growth as women and mothers, and represent one step forward on the path of Mama Renew.  In honour of the small moments, we are excited to share with you our new biweekly email & blog update:

Welcome to RENEW

featuring one self-care inspiration

and links to our latest blog postings.

One short inspiring RENEW every other week
No more, no less, sweet & simple.

In our lifetimes we are, every once in a while, presented with the opportunity to take a great leap.  Whether the leap should be a source of great excitement, or fear, it is sure to open the way for growth.

We at Mama Renew took such a leap this month by attending Renewal Partners’ Social Venture Institute, a 5 day gathering of mission-based entrepreneurs and non-profit managers from around North America.

Truth be told, this was a hard leap to resist.  Hosted at Hollyhock by on Cortes Island, BC, the Social Venture Institute included some pretty phenomenal benefits, including an ocean view hot tub, gourmet food fresh from the gardens, an oyster buffet by the beach, dancing and daily yoga.  A hard to resist business conference – and a welcome retreat amidst our busy life as mothers and business owners.

As one of the smallest companies invited, we were initially hesitant regarding the applicability to Mama Renew.  It is only in the past one or two years that we have truly grown into the role of being a business owner, and truth be told, we finally got around to writing the business plan as part of the application process!  What we found was a warm, supportive gathering of entrepreneurs, gathering to share ideas and build community.

Perhaps the most valuable aspect of SVI was the invitation to be honest about our dreams And our challenges.  Much like in a Mama Renew group, the learning is always richer when we speak our truth. So much in business (and in motherhood) goes unspoken, as we try to present ourselves in a positive light.  We were reminded, again, of the importance of sharing in the whole of our reality, and the learning that comes from being vulnerable.

We are returning home from our “leap” at SVI with a long list of ideas and inspirations, and a community of business and nonprofit visionaries with whom we share in the journey.  Feeling thankful, nourished, and wide open to the possibilities.

p.s., if the description of Hollyhock sounded enticing, you can join Mama Renew there for a retreat in May 2010!

Contact us to learn more…

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Are you a mother and business owner? What helps you grow?

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We are delighted to share with you a taste of our Mama Renew retreat.  Sixteen women gathered at Rolling Earth Retreat Centre for just over 30 hours, during which time we kayaked, ate scrumptious organic food fresh from the garden, laughed a lot, danced, cried some, painted, explored, slept, did yoga, soaked in the hot tub, gazed at the stars, and truly surrendered to what the weekend had to offer.  And then we returned home, renewed & inspired and with a new dose of clarity on our lives as women and mothers.

It’s hard to believe how much renewal can happen within such a short time period.  The kayaking experience was especially exhilarating and challenging, allowing each of us to draw on inner resources and navigate our own path through the waves.  We could go on and on about how magical it was, but instead will share with you the words of Melanie who wrote about the experience in her blog:

Retreated, Renewed Returned

Sixteen women, all of us mothers, all of us wishing to explore aspects of our lives; not just as mothers, but as people with our own lives, thoughts, feelings, desires, goals, pasts, interests, challenges…

I left there with many new friends…I left with a bit more peace than I arrived with. I left tired and a little heart-drained, but with more energy than I had before. Long before I was home, I wanted Cameron’s arms around my neck, I wanted to see his whole face smile, I wanted to tell him I love him.

Read more of Melanie’s beautiful blog post here.

Many thanks to Joah and Brett of Rolling Earth for their gracious welcome and care.  As Melanie raved in her blog, “Did I mention that we ate fabulous food? Food with flowers in it? I swear I’ll never serve cheese again without flowers.”

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Wish you could have been there?

Join the Mama Renew Retreat next spring at Hollyhock on Cortes Island!

Contact us to learn more…

We are mothers.  Our children circle around us and fill our days with beauty and a whole lot of messiness.  Many of us also have children who live in our hearts.  Children we lost in miscarriage and stillbirth, perhaps a child who died at age one or seventeen, and those who we were unable to conceive.

These children are often unspoken and unacknowledged, and yet they are an integral part of who we are as women and mothers.  They shape our identity, our relationship with our body, our understanding of the spectrum of life and loss and just how precious our children are.

A new resource is now available for mothers wishing to explore the healing journey after loss.  Mending Invisible Wings, by Mary Burgess with illustrations from Sophia McCloud, offers a space for exploration and healing for those who have lost a baby.  We are thrilled to see such a compassionate and creative resource available to mothers in need of support.

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For all that we do, give, love, dream, create, vision….

Happy Mother’s Day!

We gift you with this extraordinary video featuring the original Mother’s Day Proclamation:

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The Mother’s Day media frenzy is upon us, with tales of what mothers Really want… This story from ABC News reports that in these difficult economic times spas, jewelry and flowers are apparently off the list, with mother’s today choosing the simple pleasure of being together as a family.

When you actually read the comments that ABC received from moms around the country, however, the message they share is quite different.  Yes, we love being with our families.  However, gifts of spa visits, jewelry and flowers, while nice to receive, may not be at the very top of the list. Each mother responding shared her idea of the perfect Mother’s Day gift, and here is our Mama Renew interpretation of their desires – quite different from that of ABC News:

Help!

It seems that that we would love more help with household responsibilities, or to be relieved of them entirely for one blissful day.  As one mom shared,

“When there are dirty dishes on the counter, wash them.  If you have to step over it to get where you’re going, pick it up and it away…A day where I do not need to orchestrate the cleaning, washing, cooking, homework would be heavenly.”

No Worries

Mothers shared worries about finances, employment, the welfare of their children, household responsibilities… How wonderful it would be to enjoy a day simply knowing that everything is fine, safe, healthy, stable…  Peggy O’Mara of Mothering Magazine shared her wisdom with Mama Renew recently on the theme of optimism in difficult times.

Appreciated

The theme of feeling taken for granted is one echoed in many of their responses.   Appreciation may take the form of household support, breakfast in bed, a spa visit or simply the gift of some much needed time off.  We especially enjoyed the comment of a mother with grown children:

“What I really ‘want’ is a sunny day with my three wonderful children helping me do the ‘big stuff’ in my garden…I’d like it if we all shared some laughs, threw some burgers on the grill, and everybody tidied up afterward. I’d like everyone to hug each other before they left…I’d go to sleep so happy and peacefully with a blessing like that.”

We at Mama Renew hope you enjoy all of the above this Mother’s Day.  Most of all, we hope you have the support you need to care for yourself so you can better care for your family.  Check out our Inspired Gifts for Mothers Day for some great ideas.

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What About You?

What Does Mama Really Want?

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Yes, flowers are lovely and chocolate divine, but we are especially excited about Mother’s Day gifts that Nurture You not just that day but for months to come…  Below are a few of our favourite Mother’s Day gift ideas:

Nurture Your Spirit

Gift certificates are available for you to join one or all of Mama Renew’s summer workshops. We begin with Unleashing Your Creativity on May 13th, 7 p.m. in Vancouver.  Upcoming workshops include Outrageous Living: Reclaiming Adventure, Relationship Changes, and Creating Balance.  Only $30 each, or $100 for all four.  Learn more…

Write Your Story

Check out our blog entry Soulful Writing for Mothers for a few fabulous writing workshops for mothers.  Learn more…

Celebrate Motherhood

Enjoy a grand feast, dancing, ritual & meditation at Chai in honour of motherhood.  Saturday, May 17th.  Learn more…

See My Mother’s Story

This annual performance of My Mother’s Story features a spoken word collage of twenty mothers’ stories.  It is an extraordinary event and is a perfect gift for your own mother or grandmother.  Sunday, May 10th 2009.

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What do you want for Mother’s Day?

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Mother’s Day is coming up, and one of the best ways we know of to celebrate motherhood is the annual performance of My Mother’s Story:  The Extraordinary Lives of Ordinary Women.  Twenty local actresses share a spoken word collage of their mothers’ stories, inviting each of us to better understand our own stories and our life as a mother today.

Mama Renew and Babyvibe are proud to offer a contest to win a pair of tickets to this year’s performance of My Mother’s Story on Mother’s Day, Sunday, May 10th. To win, enter your comment in response to our question below.

Looking for more Mother’s Day gift ideas?

We have compiled a special collection of unique opportunities to nurture you. Take a look!

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Win 2 Tickets for My Mother’s Story

Bring your mother, your grandmother, a sister or friend.

To enter, share a bit of your own story below – your own life as mother or that of your mother or grandmother.

It could be funny, joyous or sad, a challenge or a victory, or simply a tiny window into the daily life of motherhood – in your time or theirs.

click here to enter the contest

Contest Deadline is midnight, Tuesday, April 5th.

When was the last time you sat down with pen and paper and wrote something just because?  Not a shopping list.  Not a note to the teacher.  You may not consider yourself a writer at all.  You may have set down the pen the day you gave birth and have not yet found the space to pick it up again.  Sitting in a room full of mothers writing their stories this weekend it became clear that we all have a lot to share that otherwise goes unsaid.

Peggy O’Mara of Mothering Magazine led us through a workshop entitled “Soulful Writing”, inviting us to simply write in 2, 3, and 5 minute segments.  No editing, no pausing, just writing the words as they came. Each segment had a theme such as “when i see cherry blossoms I…”, “my kids…” and the real challenge – “my mother is…”

And so we began to write.  The sound of 25 pens scribbling away, our words landing on paper with a speed and flow that we perhaps had not anticipated them emerging.  Gathered in small groups we then shared our writing, and we were surprised by the intimacy that quickly emerged.

We at Mama Renew invite you to simply write.   On scraps of paper while waiting for school pickup, or in a treasured journal in a favourite cafe.  Just write. Or, accept our writing challenge below and comment on this blog entry!

If you’re seeking guidance, you may want to consider three wonderful opportunities:

1. Unleashing Your Creativity Join Mama Renew for our drop-in workshop on creativity & motherhood.  Wednesday, May 13th in Vancouver.  Learn more…

2. The Momoir Project Workshops for mothers on writing our stories.  Based in Vancouver, Toronto, and Washington, D.C. as well as through an online guide.  Learn more…

3.  Writing Your Mother’s Story A workshop for women who would like to write their own mother’s story. Based in Vancouver.  Learn more…

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We invite you to write something here on the theme of self-care.

Go for it!  Time yourself – 2 minutes or less.

When I think of self-care I….

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Mama Renew and Dancing Star Birth participated this past weekend in the Healthy Families Conference.  We were happy to reconnect with many clients, friends, and colleagues.  It was a pleasure to meet Peggy O’Mara, editor of Mothering Magazine, and learn from her, and we thought we’d share some highlights from her talk on Building Community:

O’Mara proposed that within each circle of parents is the smaller foundation community of the family itself.  We were touched by her sharing of home as a sanctuary - the place where we feel safe enough to let our guards down and be vulnerable, fall apart, and then regather.  Within this sanctuary of the family we can put into place elements to facilitate this sense of safety such as privacy, beauty, quiet, regular meals, and freedom from overstimulation.  With this strong foundation we are then able to reach out and contribute to our larger community of families, building the social web that will support us through the years to come.

The work of Paul Hawken in his book Blessed Unrest explores the massive network of over 1,000,000 groups big and small doing work on social and economic justice.   As O’Mara explored the power of what happens when people come together, we were reminded of the importance of the work that we do with Mama Renew and Dancing Star Birth.  So often we see both prenatal and mothering groups continue on as a circle of support for months and even years beyond our time with them.  Each small circle of parents supporting one another is part of a much larger movement of groups big and small creating community in our busy world.  Each time we reach out, we are building one more connection.

Those present at the conference brainstormed together some creative ideas for fostering community such as:

Cohousing

Build community in your home by choosing to live with other adults or families.

Shared Days

Share household duties with another family – spend the day together playing, cooking & cleaning together.

Meal Coop

Each family makes a large meal and shares it with 2-3 other families.

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What are some unique ways you have helped build community as a family?

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We’re getting ready for our Unleashing Your Creativity Workshop in Vancouver on May 13th, and want to be sure you all know about this important new documentary film showing this weekend.  We see so many of our friends & clients struggle with this theme of motherhood & creativity.

Who Does She Think She Is? explores women balancing their lives as artists and mothers.  We’ll be there – and you?

As the beloved Gilda Radner said,

“I can always be distracted by love, but eventually I get horny for my creativity.”

We are happy to share with you our final installment from our exclusive interview with the legendary Peggy O’Mara, editor of Mothering Magazine. She will be coming to Vancouver This Weekend! April 18th & 19th for the Healthy Families Conference. Congratulations to Abby in Vancouver who won our contest for a free conference pass & hotel stay.

In response to our last post on “Doing It All“, contest winner Abby Mikkelson, doula and mother of three, shared:

“I can’t do it all, but there are times I can do more than others. When I can do more, I offer more. And it is OK to take when I cannot give. Sometimes in taking it is giving a gift to someone who really needs to give in that moment. But Peggy O’Mara is right, we cannot do this in isolation.”

Given that we are preparing for the Healthy Families Conference, we thought we’d ask Peggy to share her words of wisdom on the subject of healthy families.  We were amused to learn that when her children were young she actually looked into what makes a family healthy – hoping to discover that her family was doing ok!  Here is some of what she learned:

Mama Renew: How would you define a “Healthy Family”?

Peggy O’Mara: Healthy families communicate.  They show appreciation for one another.  They rebound from anger.  It’s not that we don’t have anger, but that we are able to rebound from it.  In a healthy family, nobody dominates.  Every member of the family is considered in decision-making, but parents still claim their authority.

It is important for families to create their own ethos or standard as a family.  It is important to have a bigger purpose, a sense of the world around them and the values that they share.

You know what’s so cool?  Your kids continue to learn from you even as adults.  I feel like as I’ve continued to change and evolve, so have my children as adults.

We hope you have enjoyed our series of posts featuring Peggy O’Mara.  Be sure to also enjoy our posts from earlier this week with Peggy’s thoughts on “Doing it All”, Simplicity, Optimism, and Finding Your Tribe in today’s world.  Also enjoy our article in Babyvibe with Peggy’s thoughts on intuition and trust.

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What helps your family be healthy?

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