Mama Renew

The first in our series of Why Hollyhock? posts…if your little one is too young for you to attend our Mama Renew Retreat this year, let this be a nudge to remembering why Mama Time is so important.

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Imagine stepping out of the routine to a place where the only responsibility you have is to care for yourself.  No dishes, no work, no carpooling, no sibling squabbles.  Nobody else’s needs come first.

As you imagine such a reality you may find yourself thinking that you couldn’t possibly take 3 nights away from your family, or feel reluctant to ask for that much time & investment for yourself.

We have to step out of the routine to step back into ourselves. It has been said that we have to say a lot of small “no’s” to make room for a big Yes.

This as an opportunity to say a Great Big Yes!

Those of you who say Yes will be surrounded by stunning ocean, mountains, and spring flowers.  You will eat food so delicious and nourishing that you’ll buy the Hollyhock cookbook to try and recreate the goodness at home. You’ll soak in the oceanfront hot tub for sunrise or stargazing and anytime you please in between. You can choose from daily yoga, dance workshops, massage treatments, kayak outings and more.

Every moment of our time together is designed to nurture and inspire, gently nudge and deeply challenge, and give you the space and time you need to reconnect with yourself as a woman and mother.

See you there?   Space is limited!

For mothers of todders, tweens, teens & empty nesters

Visit the Mama Renew and Hollyhock websites to Learn More

or call Sarah at 604.254.1100

and Hollyhock at 1-800-933-6339 x232

Last night I was blessed to join in a circle of fellow Kindergarten parents to explore the theme of the “hurried parent.”  We began by each sharing a recent treasured moment with our child. You could see each parent’s face transform as they described the beauty revealed from those moments of absolute mindful presence with their child.

Me, I found myself reflecting on the routine moments in the day  -  bath & bedtime, meals, bedtime stories…  As a self-employed working mother these are my primary moments with them. I felt sadness as other parents described forest explorations and games, feeling the loss of the hours I am not able to share with them.

In our family we are striving to no longer use the word “busy”, but my life is indeed full. Very full.   I’m doing good work, and I know that my boys take pride in what I give to our wider community, and that my work is an integral part of what helps me feel whole.  This does not change, however, the sense of loss I feel as a working mother.

As we talked, I thought of these routine moments I share with them, and how beautiful they are.  We have our rhythms and rituals, our secrets and treats.  I can’t change how full my life is, but I can have both compassion for myself in this delicate balance I strive to maintain, and I can give my whole self to the moments I share with them.

Miss Ruth, the Kindergarten teacher, took me aside this morning and shared words of experience and perspective as a working mother.   It is good to know that we are living these full lives within a broader community, and the circle of support is there to both honour where we are, and give us that gentle nudge when we need it.

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On her recent post blogger Mommy Instincts bemoans:

Why can’t I have it all together?….

I hear you, mama. I hear this over and over again from mothers. I hear it inside my own head all the time. As she writes, “I am in a constant battle with myself.”

I have this vision of what my life could look like if I just had it all together. A lot of it revolves around clutter – the stuff that takes up the space in my life. Some of it is “to do clutter” – you know, the things on the list that I haven’t dealt with, and as a result are weighing on me. Some of it is inner clutter – beliefs & assumptions that I would do well to set aside.

At the core of it all though is this inner belief that so many of us carry – that somehow all the other mothers “have it all together,” and only we are floundering.

While some may on the surface appear to have things “together” in ways you can only dream of, there is always something that has to “give”. Each of us makes our peace with our reality – our unique children’s needs, work & school schedules, our home space – and strives to find a balance that will work.

A balance that will work is a hard thing to find, but I do believe it’s out there. According to the dictionary the true meaning of balance is all about harmonious distribution. I find this enormously freeing.

The mythical life balance and “having it all together” simply isn’t out there – but I do believe that there can be harmony.

In these the final 24 hours of 2009, I invite all of you who are feeling out of whack to ponder: What will help bring harmony & ease into the year to come?

The shifts can be small, and they do make a difference. The first step, perhaps, is releasing our own inner judgment – the very foundation of self-care.

Reaching out and sharing our messy life with those we love helps us know that this struggle for mythical “togetherness” is a shared one. Thank you, Mommy Instincts, for bringing your own inner struggle to this public forum. You’re not alone.

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Time for “other mother” confessions – tell us about your piles, your lists, your inner battles with the mythical “other mother.”

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We know that self-care is all about the small moments.  The five minute stretch, tea with a friend, saying no, asking for help…  Each of these nurtures our growth as women and mothers, and represent one step forward on the path of Mama Renew.  In honour of the small moments, we are excited to share with you our new biweekly email & blog update:

Welcome to RENEW

featuring one self-care inspiration

and links to our latest blog postings.

One short inspiring RENEW every other week
No more, no less, sweet & simple.

In our lifetimes we are, every once in a while, presented with the opportunity to take a great leap.  Whether the leap should be a source of great excitement, or fear, it is sure to open the way for growth.

We at Mama Renew took such a leap this month by attending Renewal Partners’ Social Venture Institute, a 5 day gathering of mission-based entrepreneurs and non-profit managers from around North America.

Truth be told, this was a hard leap to resist.  Hosted at Hollyhock by on Cortes Island, BC, the Social Venture Institute included some pretty phenomenal benefits, including an ocean view hot tub, gourmet food fresh from the gardens, an oyster buffet by the beach, dancing and daily yoga.  A hard to resist business conference – and a welcome retreat amidst our busy life as mothers and business owners.

As one of the smallest companies invited, we were initially hesitant regarding the applicability to Mama Renew.  It is only in the past one or two years that we have truly grown into the role of being a business owner, and truth be told, we finally got around to writing the business plan as part of the application process!  What we found was a warm, supportive gathering of entrepreneurs, gathering to share ideas and build community.

Perhaps the most valuable aspect of SVI was the invitation to be honest about our dreams And our challenges.  Much like in a Mama Renew group, the learning is always richer when we speak our truth. So much in business (and in motherhood) goes unspoken, as we try to present ourselves in a positive light.  We were reminded, again, of the importance of sharing in the whole of our reality, and the learning that comes from being vulnerable.

We are returning home from our “leap” at SVI with a long list of ideas and inspirations, and a community of business and nonprofit visionaries with whom we share in the journey.  Feeling thankful, nourished, and wide open to the possibilities.

p.s., if the description of Hollyhock sounded enticing, you can join Mama Renew there for a retreat in May 2010!

Contact us to learn more…

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Are you a mother and business owner? What helps you grow?

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We are still glowing from the visit we received from Peggy O’Mara, editor of Mothering, a few months ago.  We enjoyed a powerful interview with her (excerpts below), and just discovered this wonderful video of Peggy together with Lunapads.  Learn from Peggy as she shares her commitment to maintaining a healthy balance between work and raising her four children.

Read more of Peggy’s thoughts in our blog posts below:

On Community

On Family

On Doing it All

On Finding Your Tribe

On Optimism

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We published a new article on Kindervibe today exploring one of the trendy words in our culture today: Balance. For now, we will share an excerpt with you:

Reclaiming balance

Balance is one of those words we hear a lot, and it’s in good company with words such as empowerment, sustainability, and green. The more they’re used, perhaps the less we understand them – more lofty ideals than attainable goals. We hear the word and think, oh yes, balance – that would be nice – and we move on.

What does balance mean for us as mothers? The pictures accompanying articles about balance always seem to include a woman in yoga gear with a serene face and a bubbling fountain nearby. How do we translate this image of balance into our daily reality of children, laundry, work, relationship, exercise . . . and the list goes on.

The true definition of balance has nothing to do with standing on one leg with our hands in prayer position and soft glow of contentment. In fact, balance is defined as a “harmonious distribution of parts within the whole.” Such a rich definition of balance opens the room for us to redefine this image for ourselves as mothers.

Intrigued?  Continue reading our musings on Kindervibe.

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This month’s Working Mama profile is Karen Randall of New and Green Baby.  We first met Karen as a new mother in one of our Mothers Unfolding groups.  She is now the busy mother of two girls, ages two and a half, and six months, and works from home running her growing business offering cloth diapering products and support.

What inspired you to start your own business?

Before children, I always dreamt of running a business of my own.  I concocted many businesses in my head, but until my first daughter was born, these were just fleeting ideas that didn’t go any further as there didn’t seem to be that push or inspiration to step out of what was a very comfortable professional life.

When my daughter was born, everything changed. I was pushed and challenged to learn about new things and craft a new way of life. At that point I realized that I needed to consider another way to contribute to our family while mothering my daughter.  Our personal journey of learning about and finding cloth diapers led to the idea of New & Green Baby – a place for parents to learn about cloth diapering their child, be supported in their goals, and purchase the best of the best diapers available.

How did you imagine life as a mompreneur?

I had a vision that working from home meant taking care of my daughter, playing and managing the house while intermittently working and having it all beautifully intertwined and symbiotic.

In reality, having your own business is a LOT more work than that.  You are responsible for everything; there is no one to answer to but yourself.  it has consumed far more time than I ever imagined it would.

How do you find balance between work and family?

It has really made me consider how to use my time effectively and learn how to manage both roles:  mother and business owner.  My biggest lesson is to stay present with both roles. We have secured regular childcare, and only schedule work time when I know the children are happy and taken care of.  When I am done, I turn off the computer and shut the office door and let myself be mom to the girls. It is a hard balance to keep, but so important.

Coming up on two years in business I feel like I can take a step back and a deep breath and take the occasional day off here and there!  We have also hired other moms to work with us so I can focus where my energies are most needed.

Any words of wisdom?

Remember the reason you jumped in and stay true to this.  It is a LOT of hard work but worth it if you can make it work!

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Photography by Bliss

For all that we do, give, love, dream, create, vision….

Happy Mother’s Day!

We gift you with this extraordinary video featuring the original Mother’s Day Proclamation:

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Yes, flowers are lovely and chocolate divine, but we are especially excited about Mother’s Day gifts that Nurture You not just that day but for months to come…  Below are a few of our favourite Mother’s Day gift ideas:

Nurture Your Spirit

Gift certificates are available for you to join one or all of Mama Renew’s summer workshops. We begin with Unleashing Your Creativity on May 13th, 7 p.m. in Vancouver.  Upcoming workshops include Outrageous Living: Reclaiming Adventure, Relationship Changes, and Creating Balance.  Only $30 each, or $100 for all four.  Learn more…

Write Your Story

Check out our blog entry Soulful Writing for Mothers for a few fabulous writing workshops for mothers.  Learn more…

Celebrate Motherhood

Enjoy a grand feast, dancing, ritual & meditation at Chai in honour of motherhood.  Saturday, May 17th.  Learn more…

See My Mother’s Story

This annual performance of My Mother’s Story features a spoken word collage of twenty mothers’ stories.  It is an extraordinary event and is a perfect gift for your own mother or grandmother.  Sunday, May 10th 2009.

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What do you want for Mother’s Day?

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We’ve seen several mamas we know go on big trips recently away from their sweet children.  Some for work, some for personal development, and some for the simple and important reason of needing some time and space for themselves.

We came across this quote recently and wanted to share the powerful imagery with you:

“When I travel alone far from home,

I think of my children’s faces to calm myself down.

Those faces are my mandalas. They comfort and secure me.

The faces of those we love are the first,

the primal, mandalas for us all.”

-Mary Pipher in her 1996 book The Shelter of Each Other

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What helps you stay connected to your family when you are far away?

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We’re getting ready for our Unleashing Your Creativity Workshop in Vancouver on May 13th, and want to be sure you all know about this important new documentary film showing this weekend.  We see so many of our friends & clients struggle with this theme of motherhood & creativity.

Who Does She Think She Is? explores women balancing their lives as artists and mothers.  We’ll be there – and you?

As the beloved Gilda Radner said,

“I can always be distracted by love, but eventually I get horny for my creativity.”

This month’s Mama Renewed is Callie Camp.  We first met Callie 3 years ago when she was launching her Vancouver East franchise of Fit 4 Two and joined us for a Mothers Unfolding series with her newborn daughter.  Three years later, pregnant with her second daughter, she joined Mama Renew to help build a foundation for herself before entering life with two children.

About Callie

I am the happy mama of two beautiful girls (Carmen, 3, and Keira, 1).  I am also a Prenatal & Postnatal Fitness Specialist, a wrangler of babies, a singer of songs and an educator and motivator of moms and moms-to-be! I LOVE traveling, reading, cooking, quilting, knitting, triathalons, and most recently – vegetable gardening!  Three words that capture my way being in this world are Dynamic, Adventurous, and Adaptable.

Why Mama Renew?

I benefited so profoundly as a new mother in Mothers Unfolding, and I couldn’t imagine that Mama Renew would be anything less than amazing.  When I started my boundary setting and emotional self-care had gone out the window.  I was really intimidated by the whole “mother of two” idea and needed to build my confidence for the changes ahead.

New Insights

Boundary-setting.  How to say NO and ask for help when I need it.  Accepting that everything in my life is a CHOICE and that I have the power to change things that aren’t working for me.  Being empowered by what I CAN do, instead of disappointed by what I cannot.

The topic of Good is Good Enough was ( and still is) really challenging for me, but was also the most valuable.  I am a self-admitted over-achiever, control freak, and perfectionist, all of which are really great for my professional life, but not so great for my personal life!

Moving Forward

For me, good self-care comes from recognizing that my emotional well-being is just as important as my physical health.  As a mother of two, my life has changed drastically and sometimes unrealistic expectations get in the way.  My tendency is to try to do everything myself, so letting go of a bit of control and asking for help continues to challenge me.

When I jut sit down and look at my reality and accept the things that I cannot change, I feel like a huge weight is lifted and I’m actually enjoying myself more.  Yes, my house is messier and sometimes work deadlines get delayed.  I am constantly looking, and looking again! at the big picture to set my priorities.  My hope is that I can get better at recognizing the times when I need to reprioritize Before it becomes an issue.

Several years ago a group of us came together to form The Birth Lounge, seeking to share the strong community of care that is available to support new families in our region.

The fabulous women of the Birth Lounge: Karen, Jennifer-Lee, Sarah, Stephanie, Erin, Callie, Kat, Lehe, & Raeghan

As we talked, we found a shared frustration with the corporate trade-shows that have become commonplace.  First comes love (the sex show), then comes marriage (the bridal show), then comes baby (the baby show), and over and over again the masses fill the convention centre.  High vendor prices are out of reach for the small businesses (many of them mompreneurs) that are the heart of our community.

We began to dream of creating a truly family-centred event with a festive vibe celebrating all that our community has to offer.  And so Birth Fest was born.  Last weekend we celebrated our 3rd annual Birth Fest, magically transforming a community centre gym into a luscious Birth Lounge.  Banners from Thailand graced the stage, red velvet curtains framed the entrance, a nurture nook tent with couches and magical lanterns offered rest and nourishment for little ones and their parents,  and the live music ranged from festive to groovy to funky.

Thank you to the almost 1000 of you who joined us for this year’s Birth Fest.  We had a grand time, and given the response, we suspect we’re on to something… To keep the spirit of Birth Fest going year round, we are adding a new mompreneur profile feature to our blog.  Watch for our first profile next month!

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How did you enjoy Birth Fest?

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We’ve been enjoying the comments and feedback we’ve received from our Raccoon Mama Part I blog entry.  Seems as though more than a few of us find ourselves up until the wee hours.  Most mothers we know have at least the occasional Raccoon Mom night, and some transform into a masked bandit every night.

We know other mamas, however, who have created some pretty strict household rules  for the evening hours.   They share that these have not only helped them stay healthy and have the energy they need for parenting, but also improved relationships with partners and more time for themselves to boot. Here are a few of their ideas:

Always have a candle burning and the lights dimmed at night.  Even better, light the fireplace.

Never ever do any housework at night. Even if the house is a disaster. No sweeping, wiping, scrubbing, picking up, nothing..

Go to bed a half hour before you’re tired to snuggle and chat with your partner or talk with a friend on the phone.

Turn off the computer. Notice how powerful the temptation can be. Ignore it.

These ideas all seem so perfectly simple, really.  Quiet night hours as playtime, nurturing time, together time.  We know some of you are thinking, “But you don’t know how long my To Do list is…”

Babies have an interesting lesson for us here.  Study of infant sleep patterns shows that sleep begets sleep.  Basically, the more sleep they get, the better they sleep.  So much for our attempts to put baby down to bed at 11 p.m. in hopes of a good night of sleep…

Same concept for busy mamas.  The more time we set aside from our busy schedules for nurturing ourselves, the more space and energy we have for the To Do list.  We see this over and over again.  We step out of the routine to care for ourselves, and the routine becomes easier.  The routine hasn’t changed, but we have.

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Do you have any rules for your evenings?

What would you like change?

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