Just two weeks to go until our retreat
May 27th – 30th 2010 at glorious Hollyhock on Cortes Island…
and if you want to come, but don’t think you can afford it, I’ve got a special offer for you.
Please do call me at 604 254 1100
& I will do my very best to make it possible for you to enjoy this amazing retreat.
This month’s featured working mamas are Madeleine Shaw and Suzanne Siemens, co-founders of Lunapads International. They have valuable wisdom to share on life-work balance and getting creative as working mothers.
Madeleine is Mom to Gigi (5). She describes herself as an entrepreneur, feminist, creative spirit, relationship builder, & gardener. Suzanne is Mom to Aiden (7) and Garret (3). She describes herself as a bean counter with soul, crunchy mama, lactivist, and entrepreneur. Based on these descriptions alone, I’m sure many of you would love to sit down for tea with these two…
You began as entrepreneurs, and then became mothers. How was that transition for you?
Madeleine: In retrospect I think that there is a part of me that wonders what staying how full-time with Gigi might have been like – there really was no meaningful break for either of us between having babies and going back to work. As business owners we weren’t eligible for unemployment benefits, and from a business perspective we needed to be there, so it wasn’t like there was a ton of choice. That said, our work schedules are super-flexible, so we are fortunate in that.
Suzanne: It was probably a very seamless transition because Lunapads was already well established at that point, rather than the classic “Mompreneur” model of doing it the other way around. Because so many of our customers are Moms, hearing a baby gurgling in the background on a phone call kind of became a bonding point, rather than a source of frustration. Including babies into the work mix just became a natural extension of the Lunapads’ culture and reflection of how women instinctively know how to help each other out. We feel incredibly lucky to have been able to share this unique version of “working Motherhood” with our kids, employees, and one another.
You often had your children with you at the office – any tips on how to make it work?
Suzanne: Our office at the time was fairly roomy, so that helped – things like having a kitchen and a spare office that became a nursing, play and napping room. In our experience, after they’re about 18 months they are too agile and curious to really be happy long enough for you to get much done.
Madeleine: I would say be prepared to be flexible, and also to get help in bits and pieces throughout the day. I would take Aiden for walks in the afternoons, for example, and he would have a nap, allowing Suzanne to get in a few uninterrupted hours. Expectations about productivity also need to be recalibrated so you don’t become frustrated or give yourself a hard time if you’re not able to do as much as you used to.
How do you maintain balance in your family – work life?
Madeleine: In my case I think it’s easier because of having just one child. That said, I am honestly not great at the work-life balance – “I feel it all”, as Feist says, and would probably benefit from some guilt-reduction therapy, because when I’m not working I feel like I should be, and ditto the reverse for family time. I find gardening to be the best solution for pretty much anything!
Suzanne: I think that there never is a perfect balance, instead the scale tips back and forth on a regular basis. I was very deliberate about tipping the scale in the family side when the kids were babies. Now that they are older and we have help at home, it’s tipping back the other way. At the end of the day though, coming home to a happy family is the best way to gauge how you are doing in the family/work balancing act.
A supportive partner is a must, and taking care of that relationship is vital, because that is the first place where things can start to fall apart or snowball into bigger problems. It sounds cliché, but regular and meaningful date nights, as well as dates for yourself (I like to go running in the forest and get massages… not at the same time of course!) go a long way to keeping the magic and staying sane!
Madeleine and Suzanne invite our readers to check out the launch of their beautiful brand new website!
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Self-care is important – whether our children are newborns or teens, it is a vital part of sustaining ourselves as women and mothers. With my own children reaching new levels of independence, I have been musing lately on the ways in which our relationship to self-care is shaped both by the age of our children and their unique needs.
One of the first lessons I learned as a new mother eight years ago was that everything will change. Sleeping through the night? Oh, that one lasted maybe a week. My baby that almost never cried? Teething cured him of that… Fascination with plugs and outlets? Just a few anxiety-filled days. With our boys now six and eight years old, I’ve seen enough stages and phases and things change that I thought would never change, to have absolute faith that we’ll need to adapt all over again one day soon.
Sometimes looking at the intensity of our parenting responsibilities it is easier to simply say “No – I don’t have time for self-care” – we slip into inertia under the assumption that what we dream of just isn’t possible. Perhaps…the key to successful integration of self-care into our lives is when our plans are shaped by the reality of our life as a family rather than imposed upon it.
Take a careful look at your family rhythm and needs. Look for the windows of time that you do have and get creative. Know that the ways you are able to integrate self-care in your life right now are simply your current reality.
As your children grow, so will your range of options for what you are able to engage in for yourself. Don’t let yourself wait for when it’s “easier” to make it happen – if you’re having trouble fitting self-care into your schedule then it is likely that you need it now more than ever!
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We came across this wonderful blog post from Meghan Rathwell, holistic nutritionist, on the reality of new motherhood and nutrition.
in my past life i was a nutritionist: a shopping, chopping, soaking, fermenting, well-fed nutritionist….i found contentment as a foodie and confidence in practicing what i preached. but that was my past life. 9 months ago, i became a mama.
while pregnant, i imagined that motherhood would further immerse me in the glorious world of REAL food. i would bake bread, and make yogurt while my child played at my feet. my counters would be lined with soaking grains and living sprouts. Instead…. Read more.
Sound familiar, y’all? We all have images of what life will look like as a mother, and countless ideals and expectations we hope to live up to. There’s a whole lotta letting go that most of us need to do once we meet the reality of parenthood. How to make peace with the contrast? How to be gentle on ourselves? How to accept that “good” is “good enough”?
I don’t have easy answers. We are all doing our best, even if we don’t feel like it is actually the best at all. When I sift through the layers I find myself coming back to emotional self-care – being gentle on ourselves, and honoring where we are instead of longing for where we’re not. As our children grow and change, so too will our vision of what is most important to our family lifestyle, and our ability to fully live that vision in a way that feels healthy and balanced.
Now that my kids are older – 6 and 8 – I can look back and see how much more space has opened up in my life now that I am well rested and have a good balance of time for myself, my work, and family. Yes, the list of expectations is still there, but this new list of ideals is shaped by the reality of our life together, rather than imposed upon it. The guilt, frustration and self-judgment still appear from time to time, but through it all I’m striving to believe that the life we are living is more than good enough.
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The first in our series of Why Hollyhock? posts…if your little one is too young for you to attend our Mama Renew Retreat this year, let this be a nudge to remembering why Mama Time is so important.
Imagine stepping out of the routine to a place where the only responsibility you have is to care for yourself. No dishes, no work, no carpooling, no sibling squabbles. Nobody else’s needs come first.
As you imagine such a reality you may find yourself thinking that you couldn’t possibly take 3 nights away from your family, or feel reluctant to ask for that much time & investment for yourself.
We have to step out of the routine to step back into ourselves. It has been said that we have to say a lot of small “no’s” to make room for a big Yes.
This as an opportunity to say a Great Big Yes!
Those of you who say Yes will be surrounded by stunning ocean, mountains, and spring flowers. You will eat food so delicious and nourishing that you’ll buy the Hollyhock cookbook to try and recreate the goodness at home. You’ll soak in the oceanfront hot tub for sunrise or stargazing and anytime you please in between. You can choose from daily yoga, dance workshops, massage treatments, kayak outings and more.
Every moment of our time together is designed to nurture and inspire, gently nudge and deeply challenge, and give you the space and time you need to reconnect with yourself as a woman and mother.
See you there? Space is limited!
For mothers of todders, tweens, teens & empty nesters
Visit the Mama Renew and Hollyhock websites to Learn More
or call Sarah at 604.254.1100
and Hollyhock at 1-800-933-6339 x232
Last night I was blessed to join in a circle of fellow Kindergarten parents to explore the theme of the “hurried parent.” We began by each sharing a recent treasured moment with our child. You could see each parent’s face transform as they described the beauty revealed from those moments of absolute mindful presence with their child.
Me, I found myself reflecting on the routine moments in the day - bath & bedtime, meals, bedtime stories… As a self-employed working mother these are my primary moments with them. I felt sadness as other parents described forest explorations and games, feeling the loss of the hours I am not able to share with them.
In our family we are striving to no longer use the word “busy”, but my life is indeed full. Very full. I’m doing good work, and I know that my boys take pride in what I give to our wider community, and that my work is an integral part of what helps me feel whole. This does not change, however, the sense of loss I feel as a working mother.
As we talked, I thought of these routine moments I share with them, and how beautiful they are. We have our rhythms and rituals, our secrets and treats. I can’t change how full my life is, but I can have both compassion for myself in this delicate balance I strive to maintain, and I can give my whole self to the moments I share with them.
Miss Ruth, the Kindergarten teacher, took me aside this morning and shared words of experience and perspective as a working mother. It is good to know that we are living these full lives within a broader community, and the circle of support is there to both honour where we are, and give us that gentle nudge when we need it.
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On her recent post blogger Mommy Instincts bemoans:
I hear you, mama. I hear this over and over again from mothers. I hear it inside my own head all the time. As she writes, “I am in a constant battle with myself.”
I have this vision of what my life could look like if I just had it all together. A lot of it revolves around clutter – the stuff that takes up the space in my life. Some of it is “to do clutter” – you know, the things on the list that I haven’t dealt with, and as a result are weighing on me. Some of it is inner clutter – beliefs & assumptions that I would do well to set aside.
At the core of it all though is this inner belief that so many of us carry – that somehow all the other mothers “have it all together,” and only we are floundering.
While some may on the surface appear to have things “together” in ways you can only dream of, there is always something that has to “give”. Each of us makes our peace with our reality – our unique children’s needs, work & school schedules, our home space – and strives to find a balance that will work.
A balance that will work is a hard thing to find, but I do believe it’s out there. According to the dictionary the true meaning of balance is all about harmonious distribution. I find this enormously freeing.
The mythical life balance and “having it all together” simply isn’t out there – but I do believe that there can be harmony.
In these the final 24 hours of 2009, I invite all of you who are feeling out of whack to ponder: What will help bring harmony & ease into the year to come?
The shifts can be small, and they do make a difference. The first step, perhaps, is releasing our own inner judgment – the very foundation of self-care.
Reaching out and sharing our messy life with those we love helps us know that this struggle for mythical “togetherness” is a shared one. Thank you, Mommy Instincts, for bringing your own inner struggle to this public forum. You’re not alone.
Time for “other mother” confessions – tell us about your piles, your lists, your inner battles with the mythical “other mother.”
click here to comment!
We know that self-care is all about the small moments. The five minute stretch, tea with a friend, saying no, asking for help… Each of these nurtures our growth as women and mothers, and represent one step forward on the path of Mama Renew. In honour of the small moments, we are excited to share with you our new biweekly email & blog update:
In our lifetimes we are, every once in a while, presented with the opportunity to take a great leap. Whether the leap should be a source of great excitement, or fear, it is sure to open the way for growth.
We at Mama Renew took such a leap this month by attending Renewal Partners’ Social Venture Institute, a 5 day gathering of mission-based entrepreneurs and non-profit managers from around North America.
Truth be told, this was a hard leap to resist. Hosted at Hollyhock by on Cortes Island, BC, the Social Venture Institute included some pretty phenomenal benefits, including an ocean view hot tub, gourmet food fresh from the gardens, an oyster buffet by the beach, dancing and daily yoga. A hard to resist business conference – and a welcome retreat amidst our busy life as mothers and business owners.
As one of the smallest companies invited, we were initially hesitant regarding the applicability to Mama Renew. It is only in the past one or two years that we have truly grown into the role of being a business owner, and truth be told, we finally got around to writing the business plan as part of the application process! What we found was a warm, supportive gathering of entrepreneurs, gathering to share ideas and build community.
Perhaps the most valuable aspect of SVI was the invitation to be honest about our dreams And our challenges. Much like in a Mama Renew group, the learning is always richer when we speak our truth. So much in business (and in motherhood) goes unspoken, as we try to present ourselves in a positive light. We were reminded, again, of the importance of sharing in the whole of our reality, and the learning that comes from being vulnerable.
We are returning home from our “leap” at SVI with a long list of ideas and inspirations, and a community of business and nonprofit visionaries with whom we share in the journey. Feeling thankful, nourished, and wide open to the possibilities.
p.s., if the description of Hollyhock sounded enticing, you can join Mama Renew there for a retreat in May 2010!
We are still glowing from the visit we received from Peggy O’Mara, editor of Mothering, a few months ago. We enjoyed a powerful interview with her (excerpts below), and just discovered this wonderful video of Peggy together with Lunapads. Learn from Peggy as she shares her commitment to maintaining a healthy balance between work and raising her four children.
Read more of Peggy’s thoughts in our blog posts below:
We published a new article on Kindervibe today exploring one of the trendy words in our culture today: Balance. For now, we will share an excerpt with you:
Balance is one of those words we hear a lot, and it’s in good company with words such as empowerment, sustainability, and green. The more they’re used, perhaps the less we understand them – more lofty ideals than attainable goals. We hear the word and think, oh yes, balance – that would be nice – and we move on.
What does balance mean for us as mothers? The pictures accompanying articles about balance always seem to include a woman in yoga gear with a serene face and a bubbling fountain nearby. How do we translate this image of balance into our daily reality of children, laundry, work, relationship, exercise . . . and the list goes on.
The true definition of balance has nothing to do with standing on one leg with our hands in prayer position and soft glow of contentment. In fact, balance is defined as a “harmonious distribution of parts within the whole.” Such a rich definition of balance opens the room for us to redefine this image for ourselves as mothers.
Intrigued? Continue reading our musings on Kindervibe.
This month’s Working Mama profile is Karen Randall of New and Green Baby. We first met Karen as a new mother in one of our Mothers Unfolding groups. She is now the busy mother of two girls, ages two and a half, and six months, and works from home running her growing business offering cloth diapering products and support.
What inspired you to start your own business?
Before children, I always dreamt of running a business of my own. I concocted many businesses in my head, but until my first daughter was born, these were just fleeting ideas that didn’t go any further as there didn’t seem to be that push or inspiration to step out of what was a very comfortable professional life.
When my daughter was born, everything changed. I was pushed and challenged to learn about new things and craft a new way of life. At that point I realized that I needed to consider another way to contribute to our family while mothering my daughter. Our personal journey of learning about and finding cloth diapers led to the idea of New & Green Baby – a place for parents to learn about cloth diapering their child, be supported in their goals, and purchase the best of the best diapers available.
How did you imagine life as a mompreneur?
I had a vision that working from home meant taking care of my daughter, playing and managing the house while intermittently working and having it all beautifully intertwined and symbiotic.
In reality, having your own business is a LOT more work than that. You are responsible for everything; there is no one to answer to but yourself. it has consumed far more time than I ever imagined it would.
How do you find balance between work and family?
It has really made me consider how to use my time effectively and learn how to manage both roles: mother and business owner. My biggest lesson is to stay present with both roles. We have secured regular childcare, and only schedule work time when I know the children are happy and taken care of. When I am done, I turn off the computer and shut the office door and let myself be mom to the girls. It is a hard balance to keep, but so important.
Coming up on two years in business I feel like I can take a step back and a deep breath and take the occasional day off here and there! We have also hired other moms to work with us so I can focus where my energies are most needed.
Any words of wisdom?
Remember the reason you jumped in and stay true to this. It is a LOT of hard work but worth it if you can make it work!
Yes, flowers are lovely and chocolate divine, but we are especially excited about Mother’s Day gifts that Nurture You not just that day but for months to come… Below are a few of our favourite Mother’s Day gift ideas:
Nurture Your Spirit
Gift certificates are available for you to join one or all of Mama Renew’s summer workshops. We begin with Unleashing Your Creativity on May 13th, 7 p.m. in Vancouver. Upcoming workshops include Outrageous Living: Reclaiming Adventure, Relationship Changes, and Creating Balance. Only $30 each, or $100 for all four. Learn more…
Write Your Story
Check out our blog entry Soulful Writing for Mothers for a few fabulous writing workshops for mothers. Learn more…
Celebrate Motherhood
Enjoy a grand feast, dancing, ritual & meditation at Chai in honour of motherhood. Saturday, May 17th. Learn more…
See My Mother’s Story
This annual performance of My Mother’s Story features a spoken word collage of twenty mothers’ stories. It is an extraordinary event and is a perfect gift for your own mother or grandmother. Sunday, May 10th 2009.
What do you want for Mother’s Day?
We’ve seen several mamas we know go on big trips recently away from their sweet children. Some for work, some for personal development, and some for the simple and important reason of needing some time and space for themselves.
We came across this quote recently and wanted to share the powerful imagery with you:
-Mary Pipher in her 1996 book The Shelter of Each Other
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What helps you stay connected to your family when you are far away?
