Mama Renew

Dear Mamas,

I am delighted to have two copies of the fabulous new book Moon Mysteries to give away.   Please comment below for your chance to win.  Increase your chances by liking the Mama Renew facebook page and sharing the link on facebook!  Contest closes at midnight, Sunday December 11th.

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Way back in my twenties as I entered birth work, I experienced a sort of mini-personal revolution learning about the power of women’s bodies – and with it, a discovery of my period as a source of connection rather than dread. And so began years of exploration – trying out cloth pads and sea sponges, charting my cycles, discovering fertility awareness…  It was a wondrous time of discovery and integration, and certainly a core part of who I was growing into as a woman.

Fast forward 20 years, and I am the mother of two growing boys.  I’m aware that I bled sometime in the past few weeks (?) but that’s about as far as my charting goes these days. While I’m still a devoted user of Lunapads and the Diva Cup (a vast improvement on the sea sponge of my early 20s), I’m certainly not feeling the sense of celebration or connection that I did in my 20’s.  While I know this in part due to my crazy full magical life, I do wonder if perhaps being beyond my fertile years also plays into it.

I have been delighted to review a copy of Moon Mysteries:  Reclaiming Women’s Menstrual Wisdom, by Nao Sims and Nikiah Seeds.  From the stunning front cover image, to the wondrous paintings contained within, the book feels more like a treasure than a text, and I have found myself savouring the words and stories within.  Inside you will find the history, traditions and mythology of menstruation captured within 13 moon cycles, each month exploring a different realm of women’s psyche as it relates to the menstrual cycle.  Also included are heartfelt personal stories from the authors own journey, and an absolutely lovely circular chart to use for your own moon cycle documentation.

I truly love their chart.  Along with the moon phases, it has room for us to document our emotions, creativity, sexuality, and energy.  For the first time in years I find myself inspired to begin charting again.  Given that I only have another 10 years or so left of my moon cycle, it would be nice to experience a reconnection as I move toward my next life stage.

I’d love to hear from all of you as well.   I’m giving away two copies of this inspiring book.  Please comment below on one of these two questions  and like the Mama Renew facebook page (let us know in a comment below) for your chances to win – each thing you do counts as a separate entry.  Share this link on your facebook page and get yet another entry!  Contest will close this Sunday, December 11th at midnight.

How has your journey into motherhood affected your relationship to your moon cycle?

Why would you love to have a copy of Moon Mysteries?

This month’s Mama Renewed is Cari Burdett, mother of 3 beautiful children who shares with us words of wisdom on creativity, motherhood, and visionary self-care. Cari recently gave “birth” to a new baby – her CD “Winter” - offering songs, verses, and sound stories for families.

About Cari

I am a lover of life, music, children, good quality home cooked food and creativity. I am an opera singer, vocal improvisor, teacher of helping people give themselves permission to free their voice and sing sing sing, leader of song with children and more, gardener, alpaca & chicken host.    Three words that capture my way of being in the world are eclectic, inspired & joyful.

Growing up performing and then 10 years of Opera School, I defined myself as a singer.  Because of my life’s path (health and children), I have had to redefine that image and take a deeper look inside to discover who I am. I do know that without singing I don’t feel as much joy. As a mother, I want to be joyful  and so I allow myself to take time out to sing.

Why Mama Renew?

I took Mama Renew because I value connection and respect going beyond the masks to truth.  I admire how Mama Renew brings us together to evaluate and redefine our daily life.   I was seeking connection, witnessing, friendship, self-love and joy.

Lessons Learned

To nurture myself and ask every morning   ”What do I need today – right  now” and then to try and do it! I appreciated the confirmation that we need each other in this life and that it is fine to ask for help and support. I was grateful to learn how simple my basic needs are and yet how challenging they are to maintain..AND that it is possible to move towards a more balanced day that supports my basic needs.

Do I need help? Then ask for it. Do I need support? Then find it.  Do I need courage? Then dig deeper.

Do I need to cry? It’s ok to be vulnerable.

Redefining Self-Care

Self Care means to be honest and present for my needs.  I know my health effects everything I do – so I try to stay on top of essential basics, water, walking, sleeping and most of all- and I stress this – is that I take time to do things I love to do that nourish me – for me it is to SING.

I find I have to take occasional weekends or nights alone.. At this stage with a small baby again ( 8 months ) it will be a while before I do that, but I have continued to take one day every week to make music outside of the home and this is my salvation to finding that essential balance.  I also try ( and I say try because it is not often possible!) to give my self time to sing and create when the baby is sleeping and before the older children come home. When this happens WOW!! I also need to work in the garden about once a week to balance out the other parts of me, which includes cooking good food and keeping my counters clean.

On Creativity & Motherhood
As someone who pursued art for a career, it is always a HUGE question as to how to balance it while being a mother. If you let go of your art all together, we can get lost in the depths of depression . If on the other hand we believe that our own art is the only way to be, then one could lose out on family life and the joys of raising your children…

So where is the happy medium? At what balance do we find the way of  our true spirit calling and letting go of  the ego trip lust for fame – without letting our passion, creativity and inspiration all go down the drain?

We as mothers are allowed to make art and to find time for ourselves. I also believe that we can give ourselves permission to see the art that we already do in the home each and every day and learn also that it is enough at that moment.

Yesterday I boldly declared:    This week we’re going to find the time, create the time, make the time… Will you join us?

But I don’t have time.

You don’t know how busy I am.

There are so many things on my to do list.

I don’t have childcare.

But I just had a baby.

Not this week but maybe next?

Sound familiar?  Ah, yes…. the challenge of finding, creating, making the time to care for ourselves.  While core needs such as food, sleep and water get met on a basic level, the elements of self-care that nurture our spirit are lower on the list.

All of the above statements are real.   We are indeed busy mamas.

What if, instead of talking about how “busy” we are, we transformed that word to “full”???

“Full” is an apt description of our roles & responsibilities, but also opens the way for a different understanding of how we live.  The feeling of the word “full” reminds me that this is indeed my goal.  I want a full life, one that is fulfilling and alive & full of things that nurture me, my family & my community.

Your challenge today:

Consider one small thing you can do to help you have a more fulfilling day & nurture your mama spirit.

Love to dance?  Have a dance party with your kids.

Longing for the spa? Mix up a homemade facial mask and wear it around the house.

Feeling lonely?  Call a friend now.

Love to Cook?  Call a friend and spend the afternoon cooking together & share the bounty.

Craving mama time?  Watch for tomorrow’s post on spending time alone!

We’re one week into the Back to Self 30 day Challenge! If you’re just joining us now, it’s not too late – simply “Like” our facebook page and join in the fun.

Daydream, by Chantey Dayal

While I hadn’t planned on doing theme weeks, our first week of the challenge seemed to focus on physical self-care. This emerged in part due to my need to care for myself during a miserable cold. It also, however, is the aspect of self-care that is the most obvious. Articles & websites & experts abound telling us about good nutrition, exercise, water and sleep as the path to wellness. But wait, there’s more!!!

We’ve taken steps forward in caring for our Bodies, now it’s time for Spirit as our theme for week #2:

What activities nurture your spirit?

For me, these include creativity, dance, spiritual practice, yoga, alone time…

Here’s the catch: For many busy mamas I know, these are the very activities that too often get set aside in favour of family and household responsibilities. “I just don’t have time” is the mantra I hear over and over again.

This week we’re going to find the time, create the time, make the time… Will you join us?

Much gratitude to brilliant painter Chantey Dayal for the use of her painting for this blog. You can learn more about Chantey on her website & facebook page. Watch for more of her paintings in future postings.

I’ve been sick.   Sick enough that I stumbled over to my neighbors door 2 days ago wearing a full balaclava over my head, a big scarf around my neck, and a sign with the following words scrawled in red ink:

Please Call School – Need Rick Home – Doctor Now

This, after a 5 minute episode in which I enjoyed (not) a croup-like episode alone in the house gasping for breath & certain I was going to die.   Lucky for me my husband showed up from school drop-off just moments later and whisked me off, not to the doctor but to the Emergency Room.   Apparently they don’t like making patients who can’t breathe waiting for an appointment at the clinic.

Official diagnosis?  Acute Upper Respiratory Infection with Laryngitis. Origin?  Viral.  I liked this part – no tough antibiotic decision.  Lovely doctor told me to keep on doing what I was doing – lemon honey garlic ginger tea (she even approved of my addition of homemade rhubarb cinnamon vodka).  And reassured me that when another croup-like episode occured, it would pass, and I would be able to breathe again.

Home again, I settled into two full days of life as a sick mama.  Nestled on the couch with my hot vodka tea, unable to utter even a word to my children as my voice is completely gone.    I’m doing a bit better today, made it to yoga (part of my personal 30 day challenge), and am actually able to sit here at the computer with something resembling focus.  No voice yet, but I’m trying to take that as a blessing.  I’m not all that good at being quiet…

What about the challenge?

I felt horrible announcing the Back to Self Challenge and then disappearing!   My personal challenge for these few days was to simply let go.  No guilt about not working, not caring for children, not cooking meals, not doing yoga.  All my body needed to do was rest in silence.   Thankfully my dear husband works from home as well, and we’ve had two volunteers here to help on the farm, so I’ve had plenty of support and been able to fully let go.

So just a bit late, here is your challenge for days #3 & 4 & 5:

Listen to your Body!

If you need water, drink it.

If you need to pee, go.

If you feel sore, do something about it (yoga, massage, 5 minute stretch…).

If you are craving sex, intimacy, touch… create it.

If you’re full, stop eating!

If you need to go to bed at 7 p.m., do it.

Take Care, Mamas!

Follow our Mama Renew facebook page to join the challenge!

Day #1 was a success!  We heard from women around North America making a commitment to:

stretch, read, study, drink water, hike, drink less wine, go to the salon, clear clutter, tweeze eyebrows, pray…

Sounds like a good day to me!

Interestingly, the #1 self-care intention y’all shared was to drink more water. It’s so simple, isn’t it?   You know the feeling.  You’re thirsty, but you’ve pushed the sensation aside in favour of making school lunches or getting out the door on time. 

We’ve been working with mothers long enough to know that moms are really, really good at delaying that metaphorical sip of water. We’re good at talking about our desire for self-care, our longing for balance, and the challenges we’re facing, and not always so good at taking steps towards change. The busy nature of family life too often takes precedence, and our needs are set aside.

In a breakthrough moment in a Mama Renew group last summer one woman declared water, sleep, and daily exercise to be the absolute core of self-care.  If these are in place, she pondered, perhaps the deeper levels of self-care such as asking for help and knowing when to say no will come more easily.   Let’s find out, shall we?

So for day #2 of the Back to Self Challenge, let’s start with Water.   Lots and lots of water.  Like 8 – 10 glasses today.  & tomorrow.  & the next day!

Follow our Mama Renew facebook page to join the challenge!

Did you know we have a weekly Mama Renew post on Mothering.com?  Here is this weeks’ offering:

How often do you wish for just one more pair of willing hands in your household – as so perfectly demonstrated by Jessica in her Mothering blog post this week?  Someone else to help with dishes, garden, a good kitchen sweep, and occasional childcare.  You know – someone to drain the pasta while you hold a crying child.

There was a time in our life when we had a maid.  Two maids, actually – they came together every other week and scrubbed my home spotless.  It was amazing.  This is no longer within our budget, sadly, and I have really really missed them.

This summer our family has taken on a new realm of household support – WWOOFers (Willing Workers on Organic Farms, an international movement of generally young people wanting to travel, spend time on a farm, learn english, and enjoy family life.  We offer room and board in exchange for time working in the home and garden, and they stay for 1 – 3 weeks at a time.

Click Here to Read the rest at Mothering.com – the good, the challenging – all about asking for help, letting go of control, and working through the guilt!

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Thank you all for your votes for us

as the 2010 SavvyMom Top Mom Entrepreneur.

I believe we have a good chance, but won’t know anything more until mid-October.  For now I feel such gratitude for all your support and the messages sharing what our programs have meant to you.  

Winning this award would mean so much to me – many long hours and much sacrifice for my family have gone into bringing Dancing Star Birth and Mama Renew to life.

At the same time, I recognize that these contests are inevitably skewed – those of us with a larger email list of past and current clients have a much better chance of winning.  Being involved in the mom entrepreneur community has shown me time and time again the depth of commitment and sacrifice needed, and each of you out there doing your best to build a healthy business and nurture your family has my utmost respect.

Thank you again to all of you for your support, not just in this competition, but also for sharing with us your sense of “belonging” to the community of Dancing Star Birth & Mama Renew. It has been an absolute privilege to support each of you in the growth and care of your family.

Thank you all for your support over the years, as clients & colleagues. We promise – you will hear us howling with glee if we win.  And if we don’t, you will see us continuing to do this work that we love, always seeking new ways to support our community.

Blessings,

Sarah & all the wonderful women of Dancing Star Birth & Mama Renew.

We published a new article on Babyvibe this month sharing creative approaches to building a healthy relationship with the grandparents, one of the more tension-filled relationships for many young families.  Here is an excerpt and a link to the original article:

Are you are blessed to have grandparents who play a positive, supportive role with your family? Or perhaps you have equally involved grandparents who seem to bring more trouble than support? Conflict and judgment were most likely not on your list of things to look forward to when you were envisioning loving grandparents taking your little ones to the park.

Along with the perks of grandparents comes a new realm of relationships, and mother-in-laws (from your side or your partner’s) can play a particularly complex role in this new family dynamic. Our mothers are not the only mommy now, and as you grow into parenthood, they too are adjusting to her new role.

The result? Sometimes beautiful growth as you get to know one another in new ways. Other times? Crazy-making conflict. The last thing mamas need is tension with grandparents, so here are a few Mama Renew tips:

Click Here for ideas to support a healthy relationship with grandma

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This quote arrived in my inbox last night from Meghan Rathwell (who also inspired this great post on new motherhood and donated a fabulous prize for our Virtual Retreat this Spring).   Perfect Timing.

One of the things I love about the experience of a Mama Renew group is the way we have room to explore our assumptions about what our lives are “supposed” to look like.  Often we see women asking daring questions, revealing seldom declared life dreams, and feeling a healthy dose of optimism and creativity.

Reaching clear discernment is not a simple task.  Most of us enjoy many, many long discussions full of questions and worries and that wonderful query “What if…?” In a post last May we wrote:

And yet every once in a while, we ourselves, or someone we love, takes the leap and says Yes, somehow moving beyond the world of being sensible.

What is it that allows us to move from “what if…” to “I can”?  As mothers I suspect that the patience for clarity is sometimes harder.  We cannot separate our own life decisions from those of our life as a family, and this can create some considerably thick mud to wade through!

Eventually, however, there is indeed a moment of clarity, and it is very much this feeling of the mud and the muck and the questions and worries and doubts all settling to the ground (even if for only a few moments) and everything is crystal clear.  It is not a moment we can create or plan for.  Clarity simply arrives, often in a profoundly understated and simple way. And then we take the first new and exciting steps forward

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We’d love to hear from some of you – How do you know when something is right?  Where do you feel it in your body?  What would you like to say Yes to?

click here to comment!

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Many thanks to Martha of Laughing Volcano Art for the use of her beautiful Blue Girl Leap of Faith image.



Yesterday on our Mama Renew facebook page we posted the query:

What’s YOUR favourite phrase or mantra to keep you going? C’mon, share the encouragement!!

I don’t want your responses to be lost in facebook land so here are just a few of your wonderful mantras:

Live Strong

Good is Good Enough

There is enough time, and every moment counts…

I had a baby…I’m pretty sure I can do this.

Let it Go.

Bedtime and wine time always comes….

“I think I can, I think I can, I think I can”

If it’s not a good time, it’s a good story.

& one of my favourites….

Everything is going to be alright.

Many (many) years ago I had the joy of playing Mary Magdalene in a production of Jesus Christ Superstar in Lusaka, Zambia (!!)  Mary’s opening song “Everything’s Alright” has become a source of great soothing to me.  My husband sings it when I’m sick,  I sing it to our boys,  I sing it to myself…

I think in the end this is what it is all about. At the core, we know that we have what we need to move through this. “Alright” may look very very different from our ideal world, but it is indeed alright, and we can be fully present and responsive to what the moment demands of us (sounds a lot like birth, yes?).

Here’s a clip from the 1973 movie – enjoy!

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We thought we’d offer something special for all you wonderful women who will not be able to join us at Hollyhock this weekend for Renewal:  A Retreat for Mothers. Instead you can enjoy our unique virtual retreat and have the opportunity to win one of the fabulous prizes below!

Want to enjoy our Virtual Retreat? All you need to do is be a member of our Mama Renew Facebook Page – sweet & simple. You will enjoy daily facebook posts with inspiring quotes & creative ideas to bring the Mama Renew spirit into your weekend.   All those attending our virtual retreat will have the opportunity to enter one of four fabulous prize packages designed to nurture & nourish you as a woman and mother.

How to Enter?

First, join our facebook page.  You receive one entry each time you leave a comment on any post on our blog or facebook page between now and Monday, May 30th 2010 at 10 p.m. (multiple entries allowed!).

Lucky Mama Prize Package

Create your own retreat with one complimentary night’s stay for two at Ocean Light Cottage & Spa where you will enjoy the best of Bowen Island’s beauty and abundance.  Includes an organic continental breakfast and an infrared sauna session! Value $200.

Beautiful Mama Prize Package

Celebrate your beauty with a modern portrait by acclaimed photographer Kyrani Kanavaros of Klik Photographic. Kyrani’s portraits are a personal reflection of the essence of the self, captured in a moment, and treasured forever.  Value $495 includes one hour photo shoot, online proofing gallery & a CD of 4×6 jpg photos.

Nourished Mama Prize Package

Nourish yourself with a personalized plan from Holistic Nutritionist Meghan Rathwell.  She will help you meet your wellness goals – renewing energy and creating ease in the kitchen (It’s possible, we promise!)  A 75 minute personal consultation can be done by phone or in person.  Value $95.

Nurture yourself with this luscious calming package from Mama Goddess Birth Shop, your online resource & store for birthing and growing families.  Submerse yourself in Mama Goddess Calming Bath Salts.  Revisit your serenity anywhere & anytime with the Calming Mama Spritzer.  Soothe your body and soul with a warm cup of Calming Mama Tea.  Dim the lights and relax with the glow of an all natural Hummingbird Beeswax Candle & Votives.  Value $75.

You know the feeling.  You’re thirsty. But you’ve pushed the sensation aside in favour of making school lunches or just one more chapter of a good book.  By the time you get around to having a drink you are parched, and find yourself guzzling rather than sipping.

We’ve been working with mothers long enough to know that moms are really, really good at delaying that metaphorical sip of water. We’re good at talking about our desire for self-care, our longing for balance, and the challenges we’re facing, and not always so good at taking steps towards change. The busy nature of family life too often takes precedence, and our needs are set aside.

We got a registration the other day from a mother wanting to join one of our Mama Renew groups.  She described her eager anticipation of the group, “My spirit feels like its about to drink a big, needed glass of water.”  She captured the essence of Mama Renew perfectly.

Many mothers are doing great things with their free time – yoga classes, book clubs, choirs and more.  Each of these has the potential to nurture and inspire, and build a community of support.  There’s something different, however, about the Mama Renew journey.  When we go beyond sips and take the time to enjoy a long cool class of water, we experience a deeper level of nourishing and growth.

Whether you’re enjoying our blog, or taking a Mama Renew group, we hope you’re taking some great big gulps along the way.

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