We got this message from a mama on our facebook page:
I have an opportunity to go to Hawaii for 3 nights with some friends. I haven’t left my 22 month daughter overnight before. She doesn’t sleep through the night yet. I nurse back to sleep. I’m having heart palpitations just thinking about leaving her and having my partner lose sleep from trying to get her back to sleep. But I really need this retreat. It’s been a long 22 months of co-sleeping and nursing. Do you have any insights?
Dear Nancy,
You’ve got a big decision to make! The first time away is big for the child, big for the person we leave them with, and big for us. Most of us feel some range of emotions including guilt, anxiety, responsibility & anticipation. I hear you divided between your very real need for this time for yourself, and your love and concern for your daughter and partner.
We posted the query on the facebook page to get feedback from others and here are a few highlights:
Both your husband and your daughter will benefit from you coming back rested and happier. – Joyelle
If you are co-sleeping and you have already breast-fed this long, the bond between you is like superglue. You deserve it!! – Crystal
I would NOT go. Find your retreats now in smaller ways. Wait till she’s a little older to take that big of a trip. – Lynette
Only you will know if she is (or you are) ready. Just don’t let your self fall into the trap that guilt creates – no one will benefit from that. – Stacelynn
The trick is to trust enough in the importance of the retreat…and not obsess about controlling things back home. – Corine
Contribute your thoughts on our facebook page: 
All of the above are true. Everyone benefits when mama takes care of herself. How our children respond to separation is often far less dramatic than we fear. Each child (and mother) is ready at their own unique time. There is a time of readiness for each of us as women and mothers, and for our children. If this is not the right time, self-care is still vital & the retreat energy can be created in other ways. And finally, guilt does not serve anyone.
Now what?
Nancy, I invite you to use some of the following questions as guides:
If you decide to go – how might this 3 day retreat have a positive impact on your daughter & partner?
What are you seeking in this retreat? How are you hoping it will nurture & support you? If this isn’t the right time for a retreat, how can you create the time & space you need to care for yourself?
I encourage you to have a journal conversation with yourself - with one voice pro-retreat, the other voice representing your concerns around this decision. Really let yourself explore your beliefs and assumptions about yourself as a mother, about your daughter, and even about your partner. Listen carefully as you write and notice what is true, and what is coming from a place of expectations or guilt.
I certainly don’t know what the right choice is for you. Ultimately this is your path to walk & only you can know. Listen to your heart, listen to your belly, and allow yourself to step beyond assumptions to a place of possibility.
Blessings, Sarah
I love this week. Adore it. Look forward to it all year. The final week of the year. The feeling of being in between, somehow, bringing closure to this year and preparing for what is to come. I feel a curious peace blended with urgency in this week. I feel curiously confident that anything is possible.
