There are already a huge number of inspiring stories from moms who skillfully combine work with raising children. They start working almost immediately after the birth of a child, manage to follow their maturation and the first words, and also do their job very well. We have collected three simple life hacks to share with working moms today.
Stop Blaming Yourself All the Time
We often think that we could be the best parents for our children. We accuse ourselves of giving our kids little time, not being strict with them, or being too soft – this list is endless. Often, parents’ feelings of guilt are promoted by relatives, friends, or even books or articles on parenting.
Tip: The psychologists offer such parents to slightly lower their expectations and admit that not everything in the world depends on our desires and efforts. Besides, constant self-blame does not increase confidence that we are good parents: on the contrary, it leads to burning out and depression.
Most of our fears and concerns are exaggerated. It is not easy to cause serious harm to a child. To do this, you need to insult them strongly enough and neglect caring for them. If in general a child is loved and knows that his/her needs are important, he/she will adapt to everyday troubles and the lack of resources from the parents.
If you need to do something urgently or you are just very tired, the child can have a simpler lunch, do without a walk or watch a cartoon for two hours. Nothing supernatural will happen. However, this tip works as long as you don’t blame and hate yourself. Backtracking is important from an adult perspective when you weigh your priorities. Changes for the better begin only with a resourceful state, when you treat yourself well, believe in yourself, and not when you suffer from accusations.
Plan Your Day
Despite all the modern possibilities and pace of life, we need to admit that we cannot accomplish and do everything we wanted. Multitasking doesn’t always work, because when we try to do some things at the same time, it can:
- drain the brain;
- reduce attention and memory;
- give rise to a feeling of chronic fatigue;
- cause sleep and mood disorders.
However, planning helps prioritize and allocate time and resources to the things you need to accomplish during the day, week, or month. Having a task on the list increases the likelihood that you will complete it. In addition, the accomplishments that have been marked will generate a sense of satisfaction at the end of the day. Especially when it seems to you that you have not had time to do anything important.
Tip: Going to bed, mentally list what you managed to do, avoiding things you didn’t have time to accomplish. Remember every successful task and praise yourself. Show what you have done to your children and your husband, sincerely thank them if they have created the conditions for this.
The psychologists also recommend, when compiling the list, to take into account possible surprises (the baby did not fall asleep, you had to stay late at work or stand in line at the bank for the entire lunch break to pay utility bills). Increase the time intervals between activities and objectively assess your capabilities, making a plan in the evening.
The myths that men cannot take care of children have long been dispelled. In fact, dad can learn to change diapers, invent games for preschoolers, and talk to teenagers. The question is: does he really want to do this and does his wife allow him to do it? The child has two parents, their rights and responsibilities are equal. They decide among themselves the tasks for upbringing, and here no one is a leader or assistant to anyone.
Nowadays, many household chores can be entrusted to special services or hired workers. In particular, we can use the following services:
- cleaning companies or a cleaning lady who comes once a week;
- grocery and ready-to-eat delivery services;
- dry cleaning and laundry;
- taxi services.
Tip: to overcome internal resistance, psychologists recommend calculating the cost of an hour of your working time. Very often it turns out that it is significantly higher than the amount that will need to be paid for services. In addition, people who provide services for a fee are most likely trained to do it quickly and efficiently.
When deciding what to entrust to services and what to do on your own, start from your preferences. That is, do what you love and give away what is annoying. Someone loves to cook and hates cleaning, someone – on the contrary. It is worth paying for getting rid of the unpleasant tasks.
With these tips, we are sure that your parenting will be remembered as a happy time!